studio635

It's A Love "Thing"

2009-08-15T14:58:00.010-04:00

It seems like I'm only posting every five months now. Don't know why, and really, who cares? I'm just feeling bloggy again, that's all.

Right now, I'm sitting at work, sore from yesterday's staff bowling outing, watching wine videos and reading wine articles online. (I don't remember exactly the last time I bowled, but it's been way too long.)

Wine's my new "thing," my latest interest. It's good to have a "thing," especially a new "thing." I've had other "things," but this one's not tied to my job or business aspirations, or something I'm doing for my health or spiritual wellbeing. (Not that those aren't good things.) It's not something that I feel I "should" do, so the joy won't be stripped of it after six months because of my frustrations of not being better at it. I believe this is love, people. The real thing. It's been almost nine months, and the feeling's still strong.

I've always liked wine, but never really got into it. Like most people, I was pretty intimidated by it. All I knew was Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, and White Zinfandel, and not very well. I wasn't big on the reds. Maybe they were just too much for my untrained palate. That's changing now, though. I'm actually very proud of my progress in wine appreciation.

Now that I have something interesting to blog about, I'll be checking in more often. And that's a great thing.

Treat Her Like A Queen

2009-03-12T13:51:00.024-04:00

Like almost everyone, I can't help thinking about all the Rihanna/Chris Brown drama going on in the media and everywhere else lately.

As I was walking to the train from work last night a song popped into my head that speaks to the issue of "domestic" violence so clearly. It's called Treat You Like A Queen, by Rahsaan Patterson, from his Love In Stereo CD.

Click on the icon to play, and please, listen to the words.

Friendship Train

2008-10-20T15:44:00.013-04:00

Here's a tribute to Barack Obama and his family that my sister put together last week.

Click here or on the image to listen. (It's a great song, so turn up the sound.)

Babyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

2008-10-17T18:43:00.015-04:00

I'm getting back in the mood to blog again. What that really means is that there's actually something new to talk about.

The best thing so far has been the birth of my BFF's new baby girl. Her name is Simunyé Lior Read Berry. Her first name is a South African/Zulu word meaning "we are one," or "we are together." Her middle name is a Hebrew word meaning "my light," or "God's gift of light." This works well since her mom is half black/half Jewish.

I was honored to meet Simunyé less than two hours after she was born, even though I felt like I knew her long before since I watched her mommy's tummy grow and felt her moving around in there as she grew inside.

Although other friends/family members have had kids, this is the first pregnancy I followed from the beginning. I really appreciate my relationship with my friend, Yaël (my baby mama), and her husband, Darien (my baby daddy), and that they've allowed me to be a part of their lives, especially for this most important experience—the birth of their first child.

Not to be biased (yeah right), but she's just about the cutest baby ever! She was just a little over five pounds at birth, and she's still quite small. It's been amazing watching her adjust to life on the outside, and everyone adjusting to her being here.

I look forward to watching this little soul grow up and become the woman she is destined to be.

Tomorrow's Another Day

2008-03-03T21:42:00.003-05:00

I just came from watching Oprah Winfrey and Eckhart Tolle discuss his latest book, A New Earth, on her first live online class. I only got to see the first 10 minutes of it, as my poor wireless connection became stretched beyond its limits and could no longer compete with the onslaught of viewers logged on to this historic event. After a series of intermittent stalls and pauses, the video just stopped altogether. And trying to get back on was impossible, so I just gave up and logged out.

I worked really hard to prepare for this. I set my computer up just as was instructed in the pre-class emails and downloaded a particular viewer called Move that was going to stream everything. I also downloaded the Worksheet for Chapter 1, re-read the chapter, digging much deeper into it than I had the first time, and proceeded to fill out all but one of the questions. (I felt like I needed more time with it.) And I made sure I was online 30 minutes before time (even though they said 15).

I was almost too prepared for this. In fact, I probably was (not with all the things I did, as they were required, but emotionally). This was the first selection from Oprah’s Book Club that I actually read, and the first time I participated in any of the online stuff, so I really wanted to be there with it. And I was.

When Oprah came on and welcomed us to the class, I was so aware and impressed by the knowledge that thousands of people just like me were plugged in to their computers and looking at the exact same thing I was. It was historical. And I was a part of it, even for a little while. So as disappointed as I was to miss the rest of the conversation tonight, as well as the calls and emails people will be making, I take comfort in knowing that I can download the entire webcast from Oprah’s site tomorrow and watch it as many times as I want.

Everybody Neti Now!

2008-02-22T12:52:00.007-05:00

In keeping with my quest for perfect health I’ve started the ancient Indian practice of neti, aka nasal washing, nasal irrigation, or (my personal favorite) nasal douching. It’s where you use a specially designed “pot” filled with warm salt water to clean out your nasal passages.

I’ve known about this practice for quite a while, maybe a couple of years, and desired to buy a neti pot, but procrastination (as usual) got the better of me. It wasn’t until I saw Dr. Oz on the Oprah show describing the practice in detail, and heard some of the testimonies from the audience, that I finally decided to purchase one.

Neti pots come in different shapes and sizes, but the basic design is the same. As the picture shows, there’s a bowl with a spout that’s inserted into your nostril. I ordered mine from the Himalayan Institute. I love their design because it reminds me of Aladdin’s lamp (which I’m sure was the idea). I got the starter kit which includes the neti pot, a jar of salt, and a bottle of herbal wash that you add to the water for extra health benefits.

It took a little getting used to, but I’ve pretty much got the hang of it (it’s been about 3 weeks now). I told some folks about it and they seem at least curious if not completely interested. My sister ordered hers right away though. I’m very anxious to hear what her first experience is like.

For those with any kind of sinus problems or allergies, like me, I highly recommend it. So far, so good. The real test is when allergy season comes around…and it’s not that far off.

FYI: If you want to get a preview of what the neti craze is about, check out these vids on YouTube.

Resolutions for Life

2008-02-20T12:14:00.003-05:00

I’ll be going back to work in exactly two weeks. In the time that I’ve been home recovering, I’ve been focusing on rest and healing (which was the goal) and as far as I’m concerned, mission accomplished.

Another goal was to begin a wellness program that includes meditation, exercise, and healthy eating. I’ve also been doing a lot of reading of health and spiritually-themed books. The thing is, there are just so many good things to get into. As I start one thing, I find something else to get into. Then the next thing comes along and takes my attention from what I was just doing. I’m like a kid in a candy store with all this. It’s great, but my biggest concern is that I’ll end up dropping it all when I go back to work. I know I shouldn’t be afraid of this, but this has always been my pattern. I get real fired up about something, then lose interest after something more pressing or engaging comes along.

My resolution this time is to maintain all the good things I’ve started. This isn’t about quitting smoking or losing weight, noble pursuits that they are (not to mention that I could stand to lose a few), it’s about developing lifelong practices, things that will sustain me in this life and beyond. As a spiritual being, there’s nothing more important than my spiritual life. So regardless of how demanding my job is, or how tired or distracted I get, I always have to bring myself back to center. I’ve got to find that place within myself and check in on a regular basis, otherwise what’s the point? It has to be different now. My life depends on it.

So at a time when people are beginning to slide off of their New Year’s resolutions, I’m resolving to reconnect with myself on a deeper level—a higher level—for life.

Big Gurls Need Love Too!

2008-02-15T12:04:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I get emails from Universal Music Group promoting new releases. I haven't received one for quite a while, and the one I got yesterday I found in my junk folder. What made me check it out was the link to the new Erykah Badu single, Honey. After seeing that vid, which was very cute, btw, there was one by John Legend that I looked at. It was a live performance of his song, Slow Dance. I've got to share it because I just loved the sister he was dancing with at the end. Did she represent or what?! I just loved that fact that out of all the women in that audience, they chose her. YOU GO GURRRL!!

Reflections On A Blog

2008-02-12T21:26:00.000-05:00

I just posted to my New Word blog after almost 2 years. It felt really good to do. It somehow made me feel like I've found a piece of myself that I'd let go of (but then that's been happening a lot these days).

I've been on leave from my job since the end of December recuperating from surgery, so I've had lots of time to think and reflect on what it all means to me. I still have a few weeks left so I decided to revisit some of the things I put aside once I started working full time. The easiest thing to look at was the blogs—not just mine, but others' as well.

My old blog bud, Modigli, is posting again. She'd shut down her blog for a few months, but decided to bring it back, which I'm real happy about. I always enjoyed reading her stuff.

I didn't realize how much I missed all this until I started reading through New Word. I guess you need to get away from something for a while to have a real appreciation for it. I read that thing all the way from the first post to the last and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I actually look forward to going back and digging through the links in some of the posts. (Who knew you could learn from your own stuff?!)

I guess I'll have to go back and read through this one as well. Maybe I'll even start posting more. Hey why not? I've got nothing but time (at least for the next 3 weeks).

I'm Baaack!!

2007-09-27T11:38:00.000-04:00

It's the end of September and my first post for 2007. It's not like nothing was going on, it's just that I didn't feel like blogging. I didn't really feel like anything I had to say was very important or profound, so why bother? I even considered deleting the entire blog and starting over. Then I reconsidered it. Now I'm starting over—without actually starting over.

What actually inspired me to post is this video I saw of singer/guitarist, Raul Midón. As I was getting the info for his upcoming show at the Highline Ballroom, I saw this video of him on their website and had to post it. This guy is A-MAZING!! I can't wait to see him live. There are more vids of him on YouTube, so check him out.

Now if I can just find someone to go with me. :-)

(Also, check out his website and MySpace.)

Looking Forward to Next Year

2006-12-31T15:53:00.000-05:00

It almost seems silly to do a "year in review" since I've only posted a few times this year, but I figured, since this will be my last post for 2006, why not?

The biggest thing to happen this year has been getting my job at MNN in May, and adjusting to life as a working person. After that was my trip to San Jose, CA for the BlogHer conference in July. Since then, it's been pretty routine. Although there've been a few changes, it's mostly been more about personal growth and revelation, just figuring out where I'm going and what I want to do next.

For 2007, I'd like to get back into my online life more, and finish/continue so much of what I started in 2005. Since I began working I pretty much abandoned my blogs and websites—just left them hanging. It was just too much to try and devote myself to everything all at once. Something had to give, and unfortunately, it was my blogs. I mostly regret not keeping up with The New Media Collective, but I'm looking forward to getting that going again next year. I'm also looking forward to starting my podcast, The Collective Conscience. I've been thinking about it for a long time now, and am definitely going to make that happen.

I actually got a head start with a show I did for J.W. Richard's Mandrake Society Radio to celebrate the sixth day of Kwanzaa (Kuumba), which is today (you can check it out here). I was so stoked listening to it this morning! Although there are things I could definitely change, I'm very proud of it, as it's my very first podcast. It's really got me psyched to get mine up and running.

For anyone who might read this, I wish for you (as for myself) all the best for 2007. We deserve it!

6 Months & Counting

2006-11-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked my 6-month anniversary at MNN, which signals the end of my probationary period, and the activation of all my benefits. Since I didn't get fired, I figure they consider me useful on some level. And from what I understand, there will be an evaluation and possible pay raise, which will be most useful to me.

Going to work everyday doesn't seem as strange as it once did, which I believe means that I'm over that initial adjustment period. Being a work-a-day person isn't nearly as constricting as I thought it'd be (having money is actually quite freeing, to say the least).

The people I've met at MNN have helped make my transition quite smooth as well. Although I'm cool with everyone, I've gotten particularly close to some, especially Stefanie. Even though she's quite a few years my junior, we've managed to become pretty good buds, which is pretty cool.

In addition to my milestone at work, I'll also be celebrating my birthday next week. I'm so thankful for how things have been going that I have nothing whatsoever to complain about. I guess they're right about things becoming clearer in your 40's. You just don't care what other people think so much anymore, which, I believe, is how it always should be.
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Check out MNN's latest creation—a music video featuring some of the producers and staff. While I watched them shoot it, I didn't feel well enough to participate (although I probably would have wiggled out of it anyway).

click here to download

Celebrating Women Filmmakers of Color

2006-10-29T22:33:00.000-05:00

Last night after work I went to the closing ceremony of the African American Women In Cinema Film Festival. I wish I could have seen some of the films this year, but my work schedule didn't allow it.

AAWIC's founder, Terra Reneé, had a vision of showcasing women filmmakers of color, and has done an amazing job of it despite lots of setbacks. This year, Wal-Mart got on board as a sponsor with their Voices of Color Film Series. There were also lots of other high profile sponsors which really made a difference in the whole look and feel of the event. The changes were glaringly apparent from even last year.

Being honored this year were a few well-known actresses including Nia Long, Daphne Maxwell Reid, S. Epatha Merkerson, and Elise Neal. It was cool to see how appreciative and moved they were to be acknowledged in this way. The fact is, no matter how "known" they are, or how long they've been at it, women of color in the entertainment industry continue to struggle for decent roles and never quite get their just due. Good, bad, or otherwise, it's just great to have a venue where these deserving women can be recognized and applauded.

Although AAWIC still has a lot of growing to do, it's been amazing to see the development of this organization over the last five years since I originally became involved. I started out as a volunteer for two years, dropped out of sight for two, then hooked up with them again last year. This is their ninth year doing this and was their biggest ever. Although I wasn't able to really be involved much this year, I'm glad to be back on board with them and really look forward to celebrating their 10th anniversary with them next year.

Serendipity at S.O.B.'s

2006-10-26T14:49:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how things work sometimes. I didn't want to go by myself to see Floetry, but it was the best thing that could have happened.

As the Universe would have it, I couldn't get a single soul to go with me last night. I thought I had a couple of takers, but they fell through, so I went alone. I was a little anxious about selling the ticket, but it turned out fine. There was a guy waiting outside to do the exact same thing, so at least I had company. After a short wait, two women came up to the door. It appeared as if they were being turned away, so I asked if they needed tickets. They said yes, and both I and the guy, who also had a single ticket, sold them ours on the spot. I was just relieved to be rid of that ticket. It was like a weight had been lifted off me. Now I could enjoy the show. My only beef was that the show was standing only. Not my idea of a good time.

Now for Part Two. After finding a good place to stand, I looked down and saw a woman I know named Roz, whom I'd met last year through another friend at another show. She happened to be one of the promoters that evening, so not only did I see Floetry, I ended up in the VIP section—sitting (although I did end up standing most of the time dancing anyway), drinking free Alizé (which was not the best thing I could have done after just being sick). I also got "backstage" to meet them afterwards, which probably never would have happened if my original plans went through.

Small world that it is, I also ran into Verinia, a woman I met last year through the African American Women In Cinema Organization, who just "happened" to be working with Roz that night, so I went from going alone to having a few people to hang with. Pretty cool.

So Far, A Good Day

2006-10-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

Today's my first day back at work after a nasty bout of what I originally thought was food poisoning, but instead was more than likely some kind of stomach virus. I'm sure the days old sushi I ate didn't help, but considering that my mom got the same thing the next day and she didn't eat what I ate, that would pretty much kill the food poisoning theory. Thankfully, hers wasn't half as bad as mine, and she recovered a lot quicker.

It's been good seeing everyone again after a week. I actually got a few hugs from people, which is always nice. You don't realize how much you're missed until you're gone. So far, I feel pretty good. I got some much needed rest, even though I didn't feel well for most of the time. I'm definitely going to take it easy with the food until I'm sure everything's cool.

One thing I'm really looking forward to is checking out the R&B duo, Floetry, tonight at S.O.B.'s. I've been wanting to see them for the last two years, but either the timing was bad, or I was broke (or both), so this time I was bound and determined not to miss them again. Unfortunately, my co-worker/friend, Stefanie, cancelled on me at the last minute, so now I've got an extra ticket to get rid of. She offered to still pay for it, but I'd much rather get someone else to go. If that doesn't work I could still try and sell it at the club—this way everyone wins (although I'd rather not go alone).

Maysa Rocked B.B. King's

2006-09-09T12:44:00.000-04:00

In my effort to make up for years without a real social life, I've started checking out some concerts. I've always loved live music, but since the money was short, I could only get to the free stuff most of the time. Now that I've got a real job, I can actually pay to see some of my favorite artists. The only catch is that I've got a schedule now, so I've got to work around it. I'll still miss some shows, but I'll catch enough to keep myself happy.

I finally got to check out B.B. King's Blues Club on 42nd Street. A lot of people I liked have played there, but I've always missed them. This time I got to see one of my favorite smooth jazz vocalists, Maysa Leak, live and in person—and she didn't disappoint. I've loved Maysa for years as the lead singer for the British jazz-funk band, Incognito, and as a solo artist, so I was stoked to see her perform live.

I also got the chance to hang out with a couple of my young co-workers and introduce them to her music. With all the half-assed, over-produced "singers" out there now, they need to be able to know and appreciate real music, and real "sangers," when they hear them.

The Carmen Chiles Band did a rock-based set as the opening act, which was cool enough. What I liked most was that it was fronted by a young sister who played acoustic guitar. Maysa, who came with a band including two female background singers and a 19-year old drumming phenom, brought the house down with cuts from her solo projects, including my favorite, Can We Change The World (which she said she wrote in 15 minutes after witnessing the deplorable way hotel workers were treated in Indonesia while on tour with Incognito), a few R&B standards, and the Incognito hit, Deep Waters (another favorite), which she did as an encore performance.

I'm totally looking forward to the next show, wherever it may be. Now that I'm on B.B. King's email list, there won't be too many I'll miss.

BlogHer Pics (Part 1)

2006-08-09T11:46:00.000-04:00

Me & my new bud, Laurie @ Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco.

Still getting caught up since BlogHer, but kind of slow at it. (But then I'm not too swift with most things.) I finally started uploading the pics I took to Flickr. It seems that's what most people are doing. If you go to Flickr and do searches for either BlogHer, BlogHer '06, or BlogHer 2006, you'll see what most everyone with a camera caught in and around the conference. I even typed in my name and some pics of me showed up as well, which was kinda cool. (A little eerie, but cool.)

I've had a Flickr account for over a year, but never uploaded any personal photos. I've always just used it as a repository for stuff that went up on my Blogger blogs (before Blogger let you upload photos), or other stuff—that I learned later was against Flickr policy (no porn, I promise).

Anyway, here's the link if you'd like to check them out. It's still a work in progress as there are only a few up now.

I Heart BlogHer

2006-08-01T19:41:00.000-04:00

I was going to write a post titled, "BlogHer Bound," before my trip to California for the BlogHer Conference, but I was way too stressed to sit and write anything at that time. I've actually been terrible about writing anything consistently here, and as for my other blogs, fugedaboudit! (But that's nothing new). What makes it so much more shameful this time is that I was due to be on a panel talking about one of them, which only added to the stress since I hadn't posted to it in 2 months.

The overwhelming feelings of undeservedness and unpreparedness (considering that the Conference was paying for my trip), the fear of public speaking (did you know most people would rather be dead?), my period (which showed up unexpectedly), not to mention, the less-than-perfect pedicure that I PAID for (you really can't tell from a distance, but that's not the point).

Despite all the anxiety, everything turned out as well as everyone said it would—maybe even better. For now, all I'll say is that BlogHer rocked! (And I NEVER use that term.)

Stay tuned. More to come. (I promise.)

Is Backdating Cheating?

2006-07-13T11:50:00.000-04:00

I'll admit it. I'm a backdater. In order not to have missing months on my blog, I'll backdate posts to keep things consistent. Sometimes I'll feel guilty about it, because it does feel like I'm cheating, but when I see all those months lined up in a row, one after the other, it gives me such a warm, tingly feeling inside.

That's one of the cool things about blogging. You can post for whatever date you want, not necessarily what the actual date is. The only catch, as I've recently discovered, is that if you have an RSS feed, your entry will still record for the actual date posted. So anyone subscribing to your blog will see the real date of entry in their newsreader. All you can hope is that they're not paying that much attention.

You can't have it all, I guess. At least I can feel good knowing the list of months in my sidebar are complete and gap-free.

My Sister the Reverend

2006-06-26T12:31:00.000-04:00

My sis, Jen (on the right), with her partner Jackie.

My sister, Jennifer, graduated from seminary yesterday. (The One Spirit Interfaith Seminary, to be exact.) I've been teasing her for weeks calling her "Reverend" Jennifer, which she's still not used to hearing. She doesn't actually plan to be a preacher, although she is good for a lecture when she gets ready. :-) She really wants to do life coaching, running a spiritual center, which I think is pretty cool.

I've never attended a seminary graduation before, so it was a nice experience. They had the ceremony at the famed Riverside Church here in NYC, which is huge, so I had to struggle to see without my glasses (which I hadn't yet replaced after falling apart in my hands a few weeks ago). Otherwise, the ceremony was beautiful. The church was practically full with family, friends, and well-wishers, which made the event that much more festive.

I love the whole Interfaith thing, in that it embraces many different cultures and traditions without the whole "religious" thing. It's all about embracing the Creator, and living a life of consciousness and love for all beings. As far as I'm concerned, it don't get much better than that!

I look forward to seeing what's next for Jen. She really went through a lot to do this, and I'm extremely happy for her milestone.

Take 6 @ The Bluenote

2006-06-19T15:00:00.000-04:00

To celebrate my sister's graduation from seminary, I took her to the legendary Bluenote Jazz Club to see acapella vocal group, Take 6, last night for the Father's Day show. It's been many years since I've seen them in person, and was ecstatic to learn they would be in town.

When I first learned about the show in the Village Voice, I knew I wanted tickets, and it just made sense to take Jen with me, since her graduation was only a week later. What made it extra cool was that I was able to take her backstage to meet them after the show, since I knew some of them from college. She still hasn't stopped talking about that, or the fact that we were sitting close enough to touch the stage. It was great seeing the guys again. They sounded, and looked, as good as ever (even though the years are starting to tell on us all). :-)

I'm glad I was finally able to do something like that for her. She really deserved it. And so did I.

Hangin' with blip

2006-05-26T20:44:00.000-04:00

I've got a little over an hour left before quittin' time, and I figured I'd give an update. Last night I got to meet some NYC videobloggers at a get-together the blip.tv crew were having. Since Ryanne & Jay left for San Francisco in March there really haven't been regular vlogger meetups (at least none that I know of), so it's been awhile since I've seen some folk. Yesterday, Jonny Goldstein stopped by MNN so that was a pleasant surprise. Turns out, he produces a show here.

I really enjoyed myself, despite being reprimanded by a bouncer at the door for wearing sneakers (turns out I wasn't the only one wearing them), and the $9 Heinekin (which they insisted had to be in a glass).

It was cool meeting Mike from blip.tv, Clark from ZipZapZop, and Monika from Becoming A Nurse. It was also great seeing Peter from Mefeedia and his lady, Maria, again, as well as Charles (thanks for the invite) and Dina from blip.tv. Thankfully, I didn't have to come in till 12 today, or I'd never have been able to hang as late as I did.

Everything's Everything!

2006-05-12T13:16:00.000-04:00

I really wanted to get something up here before now. I've just got way too much stuff going on to keep up these days. Right now I'm sitting at my new job at MNN (yes, I got the job!) with a bad case of laryngitis. I've been sick all week, which sucks for my first week at work. What makes it worse is that I was sick just a couple of weeks ago. Just when I thought I was getting over it, WHAM! I get hit all over again. Between the sickness and the long hours (13 between work and commute each day), I've barely been functional. (Thank God for drugs—and a 4-day schedule.) ;-)

So far, so good on the job. There's always that adjustment period, but the people are great and there's always something different going on here, which keeps it interesting. I look forward to feeling better and being really able to get my feet wet.

Right now, there's a quiet moment, so I figured now's as good a time to post. As far as the blogosphere is concerned, it's going to be a challenge juggling everything. I've got to implement some serious time management techniques to keep it all going. I don't doubt that it'll all work out. If I can get a real job—with benefits—after basically being unemployed for 20 years, then anything's possible!

It's My Blogiversary!!

2006-04-04T11:12:00.000-04:00

HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY TO MEEEEEE!

On April 4, 2005, studio635 was born and set me off in a direction that won't be changing anytime soon (see first post). Life in the blogosphere has been quite a ride—much more up than down. It's given me a sense of purpose I never had, and a few new friends to go along with it. It's improved my writing, I read a lot more, and has allowed me to put all my skills and abilities to use in this wonderful environment. I've also been able to help others get their message out, which is an added bonus.

During the course of this year I've created 6 blogs (yes, 6) which have all been gratifying and satisfying, but my shining hour came with the development of The New Media Collective. It's only been 2 months, but it's already having an impact. A few days ago I was actually invited to speak on a panel at the BlogHer conference in California in July to talk about it. Unreal! I never saw myself as a public speaker, but life seems to have other plans for me. Speaking of which, I also have a job interview today at the public access station here in NYC, which also came about through one of my vlogger buds (thanks Jay).

All I can say is that blogging's been very, very good to me this year, and the way it looks right now, it can only get better (once the money comes).

Giving Is Its Own Reward

2006-03-17T12:42:00.000-05:00

There have been many times where I've questioned this whole blog thing, mostly right here on this blog. Why do I do it? Is it really important? Is it taking up too much of my time? Does anybody care about this but me? Then I get a response to one of my posts that completely validates and reinforces my involvement and commitment to the blogosphere.

A couple of days ago, I made a post to my New Word blog about a book that was recently published by my friend GA's company, WD Publishers. The author, Carl Horner, who I'll be meeting next week when he comes to NYC, has been on a mission decrying the plight of bullying going on in schools around the country through his novel, A Hole In The Wind.

As much as I believe that this is an important topic, I really only offered to post about it to help my friend GA get some play for his publishing company. I also figured I'd finally have something to add to New Word, which hasn't seen any action in two months. In the process, I realized I was doing something pretty good. By talking about Carl and his book I was providing awareness for an important issue. I was providing a service. What really sealed it was the response I got from Carl Horner himself, via phone and email.

Here's an excerpt from that correspondence:

I marvel at your writing talent. Eternal gratitude to you for evoking the spirit of my book.

How cool is that?! That was definitely worth the time, and more than enough to keep me going with this thing a little longer.

Blue is My World

2006-03-06T00:20:00.000-05:00

I've been so consumed with my new blog, The New Media Collective, that I've barely paid attention to this one, or my others. It's not like I haven't had things to post about, I just haven't made time to write about them here. I feel kind of bad, but I have to accept that I'm only one person and can only stretch myself so far. Something's gotta give, and all that.

I've been collecting memes from Blogthings for a while, just so I can pop them in whenever I get too busy to make a real post. The thing is, I haven't even made time for that—until now. Here's a cute one about what my blog color should be, and what it means. Amazing how accurate these things are sometimes. I guess if you want to really get to know me, forget the profile and just read these. ;-)

If I ever decide to give studio635 a makeover, at least I'll know what the color will be.

Your Blog Should Be Blue

Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere.
You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant.
From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

My New Brainchild

2006-02-09T21:39:00.000-05:00

Life's just been going on since I last posted. Time goes by so fast, it's hard to believe it's almost the middle of February! Although it seems like I've been gone, I really hadn't left the blogosphere at all. Truth is, I as much as moved into it this past month working on a new site, The New Media Collective. It's so much more than a blog to me, it's really a cause—a movement even.

The whole thing stemmed from an idea I had about 6 years ago when I was involved with public access television. I'm always scribbling ideas down, and one of them was for a nonprofit media organization. My friend Allaix, a kindred spirit when it comes to creative things, had an idea for a similar project where videomakers would come together and pool their resources. A few of us met a couple of times, and during one of the meetings, I brought my ideas for The Collective to the table, but nothing ever got off the ground.

Once I came to the blogosphere, the idea slowly crept back on me. It's been almost a year since I've been blogging, and I've seen very few people who look like me out here. At first, I was so busy just trying to learn all this and keep my sites going, that I didn't have much time to trip. However, once I got into videoblogging, it just became overwhelmingly apparent that something was desperately wrong. There was a preponderance of white maleness that should never exist in a "world wide" anything. Where the hell were the rest of us?!

That's when I decided to rework my old idea into a blog. I set it up as a community site for digital media makers of color, primarily bloggers (this includes vloggers, podcasters, and photobloggers), to come together, learn some things, and most of all see themselves. My goal is to make it a full-blown organization with it's platform being to raise awareness about the "digital divide," and provide new media knowledge and technology to those who wouldn't otherwise have access to it.

To be truthful, I have no idea how all this is going to come together. All I know is that it's something I have to do. As with everything else, I'm just going to open myself to the Universe and take it one day at a time.

For the Love of Blogging

2006-01-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

It's been just about a month since my last post. That's the longest I've gone without posting here. On my New Word blog, it's been 3 months! When I started all this back in April, I never thought I'd go a day without blogging. That first week of studio635's existence, I didn't miss a day. I absolutely fell in love with it all. I finally found my medium—and my voice.

Once the fire caught, I couldn't stop myself. In addition to New Word, I started 3 other blogs, including a videoblog. I even had plans to start a photoblog (I actually have a half-assed one on Buzznet, but I wanted a real one that I designed myself). The problem is, I've painted myself into a corner with all of them, and I'm struggling to keep up. Each one, created for different purposes, presents different sets of challenges and demands.

The crazy thing is, this was supposed to be a fun pursuit—freeing even. And it was, in the beginning. The creative process in setting up the blogs was a blast. Coming up with the concept, the design, and tweaking the sidebar to perfection was what set me on. Seeing the whole thing take shape gave me a sense of accomplishment I never experienced elsewhere.

However, as time went on it actually became work. This labor of love had turned into a dreaded chore. The pressure I put on myself to post has created a strange kind of guilt. It's as if I'm letting people down somehow; like I'm going back on some kind of unspoken vow or something, even though I don't get many hits, and probably have only a handful of readers (if that).

It wasn't supposed to be that way though. It really was supposed to be a labor of love. This was supposed to come from my heart. No matter what else was going on in my life, this was the one place I could put it all and let go. (Besides my private journal.) This blog, especially, was supposed to be my refuge, my home away from home, as well as a place to share with others. Instead, it's become just something else I have to do, another task to be completed.

I know in the grand scheme of things it's only a blog, and I know I put way too much importance on trivial things, but that's how I feel right now. If I can't put it here, where can I put it?

As this new year begins today, I really do want to have some fun. Not to take everything so seriously. It's time to lighten up and really enjoy life, and get back to why I started blogging in the first place.

Peace & Love in 2006.

Better Late Than Never

2005-12-03T12:53:00.000-05:00

I completely forgot about this quiz I took a while back. I was saving it to post on my birthday last month, but I forgot. Anyway, here it is…better late than never—and also very true. Scary!!

Your Birthdate: November 16

Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone.
You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent.
You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate.

You are introspective and a little stubborn.
Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family.
This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations.

The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you.
Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach.
You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions.
Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Relationships…What Do I Know?

2005-11-25T20:41:00.000-05:00

I got an interesting call today from my friend Ja-Man, whom I recently interviewed for my videoblog, NYCreative (see post). He's starting research on a book he's writing about relationships between black men and women, and is interviewing 100 people asking them what they believe makes for a good relationship. I think I'm #36.

I was hesitant at first because, as I told him, I haven't had one work yet, so I'd hardly be an authority, but he assured me that it didn't matter. He just wanted some insight from whatever perspective it came from. I really didn't think I had much to contribute, but to my surprise, I had a lot more to say than I thought. (I guess I must have learned something in 40 years on this planet.) I focused primarily on what I'd like to experience, and what I believe a relationship should be, as opposed to what I've actually experienced, coming not so much from an African American perspective, but from a more universal context.

Strangely enough, I have been thinking a lot about relationships these days, and whether I'd want to be in one of any kind, so it was interesting to articulate those thoughts out loud to another person.

I salute and applaud anyone who'd actually pursue such a thing, much less have any kind of success in it. (To be perfectly honest, I've always been a bit freaked out by the idea.) Maybe being proactive is the right approach. Just put yourself out there in the universe and make it happen. God knows, what I've been doing (or should I say, "not doing") up to now hasn't been cutting it.

I don't know how realistic it is to desire mutual respect, honesty, and unconditional love these days, but they're at the tippy top of my list.

40…The New 30? (I Should Only Hope)

2005-11-16T23:57:00.000-05:00

All day I've been promising to post. If for no other reason than to use this silly picture I swiped from I don't remember where. After agonizing about my birthday for months, I actually got through it unscathed. Being 40 ain't so bad. (But then it's only been 24 hours.)

I just spoke to my friend Priscilla who read somewhere that it's my year of liberation. That sounds pretty good to me considering that I've been so repressed for so long about so many things. Free to be. At for-ty. (Bad rhyme, but so what.) All I can say is it's about damn time! (Now if I can get some money going on it'll all be good.)

Thank You, Ms. Rosa. RIP.

2005-11-02T19:24:00.000-05:00

Mrs. ROSA LOUISE PARKS
February 4, 1913 - October 24, 2005

AP Photo/Paul Sancya

NYC-TV Is On The Air!

2005-10-23T00:28:00.000-04:00

Just finished posting the first episode of my videoblog, NYCreative. Between constructing the site and producing the video, it's taken me 2 weeks to get the thing going. So far, so good. Only one problem which I hope to solve soon; I can't compress the video too small or it messes up my transitions. Unfortunately, this makes the video take quite a while to load. (So be patient if you check it out.) Otherwise, everything's cool. The site looks good and I feel good about it.

Ever since I was doing public access television almost 10 years ago (can't believe how the time flies), I wanted to produce a show like this, where I'd cover the NYC arts scene. I did do a poetry show, called WORDS! (this was before Def Poetry), but I couldn't get it past one episode. Thankfully, I discovered videoblogging, as this has allowed me to remain completely independent, with my only limits being what I create. On top of that, I have a global audience. You can't beat that with a stick!

The first episode is just me giving an overview of the show and what I'd like to be doing in the future. I never thought I'd actually find myself in front of the camera, after having been behind it so long, but it's been a good experience. (It's time that I step outside the box anyway.) I might even make other appearances from time to time, but it won't be a regular thing since my focus is on the people and events I'm covering.

Now that the first one's done, I can catch up on my other blogs. (At least until I start shooting the next one.)

Panthers and Tigers and ANTs … OH MY!

2005-10-12T12:16:00.000-04:00

Last night I finally upgraded to Panther. Yes, Panther, not Tiger. As I'm usually late with these things, I've been using Jaguar for only a few months. (For those who don't know, I'm talking about the Mac OS, not some Seigfried & Roy thing.) Because I wanted to download FireANT, the video aggregator, and it can only run on OS 10.3 (Panther) and above (Tiger), I didn't have much choice. As I'm not about to spend $100 for Tiger, and could get Panther for free, I went that route.

I've been checking out FireANT this morning and it's pretty cool. The main difference between FireANT and NetNewsWire, which I've been using, is that you have to actually download the videos into your hard drive, as opposed to viewing them online through a browser. If you've got the space then no problem, otherwise it could be. What's also cool about FireANT is that it plays any kind of video—Quicktime, Windows Media, Real, etc. I don't have to worry about not having this or that player. One size fits all.

Now I've got an aggregator just for videoblogs. That's all I need, another reason to spend time online!

See video of co-founder, Josh Kinberg, talking about FireANT on xolo.tv.

Interview with…ME!

2005-10-10T12:48:00.000-04:00

I got these interview questions from MoDigli's blog a while back. Since nothing new or different is happening right now I figured I'd answer them. It's kinda long, but I actually enjoyed it more than I thought.

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
Sad to say, but I seriously doubt if anyone in my neighborhood even knows what a blog is. Therefore, I'm sure my anonymity is safe. That's why closing the digital divide is so important.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Only insofar as cropping and general fixes like brightness/contrast/color. Nothing too artsy. I save that for other sites.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
Never happens. Unless you call spammers creeps and dorks, which in that case I could do without.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
No. Although I do avoid anything too personal, and I have been known to backdate some posts. (Very seldom though.)

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
No. I'm a journalist. Just the facts. No room for petty emotions.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
No. Don't like to play silly games with my readers. I'm a journalist, remember.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
No, I'm not in therapy, although at times I do think I should be. Maybe I could have online sessions, or send my shrink text messages. Would there still be a sliding scale? Would they accept PayPal?

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
Never had a mean comment on this site. Got one on my Thurs.Night site from an outsider and killed it instantly. I do delete spam though. Thankfully, that hasn't been an issue since I turned word verification on.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after?
Never heard that term before. Esplain, Lucy. (And it better not be nasty!)

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
Don't know. I'm basically the same on- and off-line, although the silly side doesn't really translate well on a blog.

11. Do you have a job?
Not in the traditional sense. (No further comment.)

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
Hells yeah!

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
I'd love to meet MoDigli, since she's my main reader and I love her blog so much. There are also a couple others I wouldn't mind meeting. I've already met some videobloggers. (Cool people.)

14. Which bloggers have you made out with?
None, sad to say. Ask me again in 6 months.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
It depends on who I'm around. You always have to play broke with freeloaders and cheapskates. But then again, who's playing? I'm broker than a mofo!

16. Does your family read your blog?
My sister's looked at it, but she's not a regular reader. Otherwise, no one.

17. How old is your blog?
6 months and 6 days.

18. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
No. And no. I wouldn't mind getting a few more though, maybe 10. Any more would be too time consuming. (I spend too much time as it is in the blogosphere.)

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
No, you nosey bastard!

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
Not for writing, but just last week I sent Ryanne, my videoblogger friend, a small donation. She's inspired me so much that I just felt compelled. It's not a regular thing though.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
What money? What taxes? (No further comment.)

22. Is blogging narcissistic?
No more than any other self-aggrandizing pursuit.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time?
Kinda sorta. I hate letting down my public. (LOL!) Sometimes I just don't feel like writing. Thankfully, I found this interview to fill the gap until I have something important to say.

24. Do you like John Mayer?
I don't dislike him. The new song he did with Herbie Hancock is cute. Why do you ask?

25. Do you have enemies?
Not that I know of, but I do have some former friends.

26. Are you lonely?
At times. But I'm hardly alone in my loneliness, am I?

27. Why bother?
Because I've gotta do something with my life, or what's the point?

Marry Your Baby Daddy Day

2005-10-04T20:50:00.000-04:00

Trust me, it only sounds ghetto!

Photo: REUTERS/Seth Wenig

Last Thursday I skipped God's Love night to help shoot Marry Your Baby Daddy Day in Brooklyn. This was a day when 10 lucky couples got the opportunity to get married with all the trimmings, free of charge. Everything from the dresses, to the rings, to the cake, was sponsored. Unfortunately for me, so was the video, so I didn't get paid. I held out as long as I could from doing it, but when my friend Perry, who I shoot weddings with, asked me to help him out, and couldn't get anyone else to do it, I reluctantly agreed. I'm glad I did, because it turned out to be a very beautiful, classy affair—despite the name.

It was also surprisingly organized, considering you had 10 couples dealing with. Sure, there've been mass weddings with hundreds of couples, but not with each one saying their vows and exchanging rings individually. The organizers obviously worked very hard and planned this thing to the hilt. They even had 10 individual cakes for them to cut at the reception with each couple getting their own photo op.

It turned out to be quite the press event as well, as ABC, UPN, The Daily News, and the Associated Press, showed up, among other local New York outlets. Even Japanese television was on hand to cover this thing. (God only knows why!) During the church service, the whole balcony was full of press, and me.

Overall, I got some pretty good footage. Once it's all edited up I'll post a little clip so you can see what all the fuss was about. In the meantime, you can check out these links:

Marry Your Baby Daddy (the official website)
NY1 News

So Many Blogs, Too Little Time

2005-09-28T15:44:00.000-04:00

Since I started blogging almost 6 months ago I've heard words like "syndication," "feeds," "atom," and "aggregators," thrown around, as well as acronyms like "XML," and "RSS," not knowing fully what they meant. Even when I read definitions of them it didn't sink in 100%. I wasn't really sure about "podcasting" either. What's a pod, and how do you cast it?

I'm now proud to say a big chunk of my ignorance is gone. Although I still have lots to learn, I'm now a believer and user of these tools to help plug in to blogs, vlogs, and podcasts much easier than visiting each site separately. Instead of me going to them, they now come to me. It's like having my own TV or radio station where I can just change the channel to whatever I want to watch/read/listen to. Whether through iTunes, which I started using first, or NetNewsWire, which I'm using now, or FireANT, which I plan on using for videos once I upgrade my OS, I can subscribe to any blog and be regularly updated on whatever's new without having to visit 50 different sites. Now I can keep up with my blogger friends that much easier, and with whatever's happening in the blogosphere without all the back-and-forth.

I owe my knowledge in no small part to the videobloggers who are on a mission to let the world know about all this stuff. A few of them actually created FireANT, including my new vlogger bud, Jay Dedman, who I mentioned in an earlier post.

I've been having a lot of fun subscribing to new blogs and scrolling through them everyday. My blog life's definitely gotten a lot easier because of it, although I really haven't saved much time.

Blogger For Hire

2005-09-25T18:23:00.000-04:00

Met with the videobloggers again last night at the Apple Store. Just like last time, I got to hang out with them afterwards. We went to a different restaurant this time where I was "forced" to break my diet ever so slightly. (I had a tuna melt and a salad. The cheese being a definite no-no.) And, just like last time, I had a great time.

I got a chance to share my good news about what my buddy Allaix and I had been working on all day. We created a logo for a church to be used on blog site I'll be putting together. A minister he knows is building a church and will be needing a website. I've seen a lot of business/organizational sites that have blogs built into them, so we figured that would work very well in this case. Everyone was really psyched that I'd actually be paid to do this. I'm pretty excited myself. I'll be even more excited when I see the first check!

The reason I feel safe to share this is because I had the opportunity to meet the minister yesterday and see the church in its raw state. He's a very positive, forward-thinking man who's totally committed to what he's doing, and wants to reach as many people as possible with his message. Also, he and Allaix seem to have a mutual respect for each other.

The vloggers feel like I should be capturing the building process on video. I agree, but I figure, one thing at a time—I only just met the man. (Anxious bunch, those vloggers are.) I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities to do that once we get things going. In the meantime, I've got my work cut out for me.

3 Blogs and Counting

2005-09-16T11:32:00.000-04:00

I've set up a new blog for my God's Love volunteer group. It's been fun, but time consuming. We had a regular website that I set up on Verizon for free (a little history), but I decided to convert it to a blog using TypePad which I have to pay for. Money notwithstanding, I really like the way it's shaping up. I could have done it on Blogger, but I really like the photo album feature TypePad has, and the overall look and feel just worked better for me. They also have password protection, which keeps the site private. I was concerned it would be too much of a pain for everyone, but no one's complained so far.

Because this is a blog primarily for non-bloggers, I had to explain the basics of a blog and why I chose the format. For our purpose, I just figured a blog would be a great way to maintain the connection within the group, especially through comments. And the ability to have everything archived would be great for new people to see what we've been up to. It's already starting to catch on. Case in point: One of our Thursday night volunteers moved to Israel about 2 weeks ago. She was able to comment to the blog and let us know how she was doing. She could have sent me an email, and I could have relayed the message, but this way she was able to post her comments directly so the whole group could see them. That's the whole point.

I'm sure more people will get the hang of it as we go along, but I'm just glad I got the site back up. Now I've got 3 blogs to attend to, and there's no sign of stopping.

Last Supper (okay…it was lunch)

2005-09-08T14:46:00.000-04:00

We're getting ready to wrap up here and I just wanted to report about my last meal here at the Tarrytown House. Today was rather tame, actually. I didn't do breakfast in the dining room, instead choosing to eat my Chinese food leftovers from the other night. (FYI: Vegetables keep pretty well if you put them on ice. And the little coffee pot they have in the room makes a great little hot pot for reheating.)

Since I won't be here for dinner, lunch was indeed my last meal. They had a Southwest theme going, so it was paella, tacos, and chicken mole (all of which I passed on). Instead, I went for the salads. They had lots to choose from; I had the black bean and corn, and shrimp with cilantro, along with mixed greens. I also had succotash (I typically don't like okra, but I can deal with it in there).

Dessert, as usual, got me again. This time it was tiramisu, which I can never pass on. It's one of my favorite desserts, and I have to try it everywhere I go. It did not disappoint. Then there were these chocolate squares. I thought they may have been fudge, but they were ganache. Dark chocolate ganache. I could have eaten 10 of them, but I only had one. Not so bad.

Well, that's it for my food odyssey. Maybe my sweet tooth won't get the better of me next time around.

Wrong Plate, Wrong Time

2005-09-07T20:32:00.000-04:00

I had quite the deja vu moment this evening. To explain, let me go back.

I arrived at the conference center last night around 7. Having been here before, I knew that dinner was served until 9, so I was in plenty of time. After checking in and dropping my bags off in the room, I headed straight to the dining room.

Fancy place that this is, a waiter greeted me at the door and asked who I'm here with, so I tell him the name of the company and he directs me to the buffet. I start filling my plate with all kinds of salads and a nice piece of fish, and was quite proud of myself for staying away from the pasta. He then comes back and says that my group isn't scheduled to be served until the next day (today), but that I could eat anyway.

Just as I'm getting ready to find a seat, the manager comes over and tells me the same thing the waiter did. The difference is, he refused to let me stay. I couldn't believe it! All day I was looking forward to this and he pulls the rug right out from under me. All I could do is put the plate down and leave. I tried to play it off, but I was quite embarrassed and angry. They'd rather throw that food in the garbage than let me eat it. Unreal!

Thank God for Chinese takeout, or I'd have gone to bed one hungry ass! (Is there anyplace they don't deliver?)

Cut to this evening. It's about 6:30 and I return to the scene of the crime. There was no buffet like last night, and there was no one in the dining room. I did see a buffet and tables set up on the patio outside, so I asked a waiter if everything had moved out there. He said yes, so I went out and got in line. By the time I filled my plate and was at the bar table for drinks, a man came over and told me it was a private party. I couldn't believe this was happening! It was deja vu all over again. Fortunately, they let me keep my food this time. I was then directed to where I should have been in the first place.

To keep things consistent, I overstuffed myself once again. This time it was the creme brulee that got me. After I get home, I'll have to be sugar-free for the rest of the month to make up for these two days. Until then, tomorrow's another day.

Sweetness Is My Weakness

2005-09-07T13:52:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here stuffed to the gills with forbidden food. Actually, only the dessert was forbidden, but off limits nonetheless.

I'm away with my corporate gig again. We're at one of those conference centers, and this place has the best food. I knew coming here that I would only stick to the diet but so much. I'm just not strong enough yet to be in a room full of everything I love and not indulge.

Although I'm basically off dairy, I had an omelet made to order this morning (I did pass on the coffee and toast). I also had hashbrowns (they called them "breakfast potatoes." FANCY.) For lunch, I had a plate full of mixed greens salad and mahi mahi, which was yummy. Then for the dessert. First, there was the "cheesecake pie," which was a cheesecake in a pie shell with a chocolate covering. Couldn't resist that. The thing just called to me from across the room! (It was actually a toss-up between that and the chocolate mousse.) Then I had a slice of flan. I could have done without it, but I was curious (you just can't get good flan everywhere).

Even though I know I set myself back today, I feel only a modicum of guilt. I figure, I have the rest of my life to do the right thing. Life's just too short to suffer needlessly! I know as I go along I'll become more indifferent to sweets, but for now I'll just take it one dessert at a time.

I'll be here through tomorrow, so I'll be doing a little more damage before I go home. Stay tuned.

It's Time To Act

2005-09-04T12:39:00.000-04:00

Like everyone else, I've been watching the accounts of Hurricane Katrina on the news as well as the blogs. People have had a lot to say on the subject, not much of it good. I agree that the way the situation was initially handled by the government was inexcusable. Better could have, and should have been done. These "refugees," as they have been referred, aren't some Third World escapees seeking asylum in this country. They are AMERICANS! And they should have been treated better.

AP Photo/Karl Merton Ferron

As much as I don't want to take it there, it's hard not to whip out the race card on this one. In light of how quickly the government responded to other recent tragedies, both here and abroad, it's not hard to wonder what took them so long here. It's just painfully, and sickeningly, obvious.

Photo by Susan Poag

Others have expressed their ire over this much more eloquently than I can, so I won't belabor the point. (See Crystal's blog, and a clip of Kanye West I swiped off of Ryanne's blog.) All I'll say is that it is about the people first. It's on us now as fellow Americans, and particularly African Americans, to take care of our brothers and sisters down there. It's about doing what we can with whatever we can to help them get their lives back. This is our family, people. Enough talk. Let's dry our tears, roll up our sleeves, and work together to fix this mess.

Still Adjusting

2005-08-31T18:04:00.000-04:00

Eating has become a whole new experience for me now. Since I started on this "conscious" diet a month ago, my whole relationship with food has changed. It used to be that I'd just get up and eat whatever was convenient, which usually meant less than healthy. Now I've actually got to THINK about it. I also have to plan for it, shop for it, and—COOK IT.

Since my mom and I live together, I admit to having been spoiled about this stuff. The kitchen is basically her domain and I honor and respect that (i.e. keep my ass out). I used to try cooking years ago, but having her "suggest" how I should do everything became a little too much and I backed off. I've continued to do some things, but nothing major. I really got into baking which I loved (even thought about being a pastry chef), but the extra 30 lbs. I put on "testing" everything put an end to that dream quick fast.

Now I MUST cook or I don't eat—at least nothing I'm supposed to. Mom's being very supportive though. She's always been health conscious, so what I'm doing isn't completely foreign to her, but she doesn't completely understand everything. I'm still learning about macrobiotics myself, so it's kind of hard explaining it to her, especially the whole yin-yang thing. Her Christian sensibilities aren't quite ready for the Tao of Eating. Despite that, I try to explain some things, but I still get some resistance. "Is this going to be cold? I never heard of rice in a salad," or "Whenever I've eaten quinoa, it's always been plain, like a rice," or "Where is your protein coming from?" Or some other suggestion of what to leave out or put in.

The best part is when she insists on making something the minute I say I'm going to make it, then gets upset when I say it has to be done a certain way. I'm not trying to step on her culinary toes, but in order for me to stick with this, I've got to be fully invested—cooking and all. And I've got to know what goes in everything I eat as much as possible. The thing is, it's hard to explain all that without pressing the insult button.

I don't like arguing with her because I'm always going to be perceived as sensitive and defensive. I just have to learn not to share so much; do what I'm doing and not say anything. But it's not easy. We're very close and she does help me with purchasing some of the ingredients when my money's low (which is most of the time). And our health store trips have become real bonding events. I guess I just have to be patient with her—and me. I'm sure it'll get better as we go along.

A Little Starstruck

2005-08-28T17:33:00.000-04:00

My last two posts have been about videoblogging in general, and Ryanne Hodson in particular. I never would have believed I'd have the opportunity to meet her in person; at least not the way I did—or this soon.

Me & Ryanne

Yesterday, as I'm watching her latest post, she mentions that she and some other vloggers will be down at the Apple Store giving a presentation. I thought nothing of it at first since it could have been any Apple Store. Then I stop for a second, realizing that she does live in New York now, and that it could possibly be, and probably is, the Apple Store in NYC. It was about 4pm at that time, so I decided to check the Apple Store website just to be sure it wasn't over. Turns out, the presentation wasn't until 7, so I still had enough time to get down there.

When I got there, they hadn't started yet, so I tried to get as close to the front as possible to get some shots (of course, I brought my camera). Once I got myself settled, I look up, and there they were—Ryanne and her boyfriend Jay Dedman, another vlogger who's also presenting. (They actually met through their blogs!) After setting up, they started the presentation. I did know some of what they were talking about since I had already posted video to this blog, but I was glad for some other information I got. Most of all, I was really inspired to do more.

Jay & Me

After it was over, I made my way over to Ryanne and introduced myself. I actually reintroduced myself, since we met a few days earlier by email. (It is amazing how much better—and smaller—people look in person.) She remembered me and introduced me to Jay. We talked for a while, took pictures, and they invited me to join them and the others for dinner. I accepted, and had a great time with them and the other vloggers.

Even though they aren't celebrities per se, I was more taken with them than by almost any celebrity I've seen in person. Everyday I'm in Ryanne's world, learning about her and her life, now here she is smack in the middle of mine; a very surreal experience. I've never met anyone online before, so that added another dimension to the whole thing. She and Jay are the nicest, most gracious people (and they're quite the cute couple, too). They were actually amazed at the fact that I saw the post and responded to it. That just shows how truly powerful blogging, and the internet is. I've definitely got to post more videos now to keep myself in the loop.

For anyone in the NYC area, they're going to be back at the Apple Store the last Saturday in September. So if you're not doing anything, come on out and meet the vloggers.

Anybody Out There?!

2005-08-24T23:46:00.000-04:00

click to view

I was going through some old posts at Ryanne Hodson's site and came across one that stirred quite a discussion in the comments section. In this particular post, entitled No Answers, Ryanne candidly shared her views on religion and the concept of a supreme being. Most of the commenters, through both text and video, basically expounded on her points. One vlogger, a confessed Christian, took an opposing view, but was more moderate in his beliefs, even sounding apologetic for some things Christians say and do at times.

Although raised as a strict Christian, I've been re-evaluating my beliefs for quite a while, and have been exploring different spiritual concepts and practices. I do believe in a force that is the ultimate source of it all, and whether people choose to refer to this entity as God, Allah, Infinite Intelligence, The Great Creator, The Infinite Universe, Shiva/Shakti, the Neteru, or whatever, I believe it does exist and that we, and everything that is, derives from it, is one with it, and will eventually return to it. 'Nuf said. Check out the post and the responses and see what you think. If you feel like it, shoot me a comment.

Vlogging Revisited

2005-08-24T17:22:00.000-04:00

Been checking out videoblogs again. Every so often I like to see what's happening in the vlogosphere, particularly Ryanne Hodson's site, which I love. She's been a real pioneer in all this, and is a wealth of information about the whole vlogging universe. She and her collaborator, Michael Verdi, have a site called Freevlog, that's basically an online instruction manual for anyone wanting to post videos on their blogs, or create a blog totally dedicated to video. They start right from the beginning and walk you through the whole process using video clips and images.

I started investigating vlogging a few months ago (see previous post), and have only managed to get one video up so far, but I'd definitely like to do more. The thing is, there's a lot more involved with it than text blogging. It's just so much easier to write, edit, and post. Even though it takes a while (as I'm somewhat anal about the editing), I can get a text post up in about an hour or less. Vlogging, on the other hand, requires shooting the video, editing the video, compressing the video, uploading it to a server, and finally posting the video to your blog, which could take days for one post. (I'm sure the hardcore vloggers can knock them out much faster.) I'm not afraid of the technicalities of it, but it's a whole different process, with a whole different mindset, and takes a helluva lot more time.

I have to say, they do inspire me in so many ways. I'm just astounded by the stuff these people come up with. Some of these videos are downright stupid, but with others, the honesty and openness can be quite profound. We're talking the ultimate in reality "TV" here. Slices of life from real, everyday people, not some already overexposed D-list/has-been/wannabe celebrities.

I've got to start making time to put some stuff together. I'm pretty camera shy, so don't look to see too much of me at first. Over time, I'll probably step out of my shell a little more.

The End of the Line

2005-08-23T23:57:00.000-04:00

This morning we buried my uncle's ashes at the cemetary. The whole thing was different for us since we never cremated anyone before. I'm so used to TV where they've got the ashes in an urn and scatter them somewhere. In our case it was nice, but pretty unceremonious.

The limosine from the funeral home came and picked us up about 9:30. There were four of us who went: my mom and me, my cousin Erica, who's staying with us, and Aunt Marge, my mom's good friend. The cemetary's about an hour's drive from where we live. It was a pretty nice ride, save for the bumps my mom and Aunt Marge got from where they were sitting. They kept joking about how they were going to lose their babies from all the jostling, which was pretty funny considering you're talking about a couple of 70-something year old women.

When we get there, the funeral home guy gets out and hands this white cardboard box over to this very butch-looking woman who had just walked over from a truck. (My mom totally mistook her for a man.) He then gets back in the car and we pull off. Turns out, the box was Uncle Winston. I'm wondering where we're going and why this woman's standing there holding my uncle. I know we didn't come all the way up here for it to end like that!

Turns out, we just went back to the main office to be checked in. We ended up riding back to the same spot where we left the woman holding the ashes. This time, we got out of the car, and she directed us over to my grandparent's gravesite, where he'll be buried. When we looked down, there was the white box, which was about 8"x6" or so with a shipping label on it, laying on the ground next to what appeared to be a 2-feet deep hole. That box seemed kind of small to be holding the remains of a 6'2" man, but they assured us he was all in there.

We said The Lord's Prayer, and the woman, who turned out to be the gravedigger, placed the box in the hole and picked up a shovel. Before she threw the dirt in the hole, I asked if we could start things off. She said it was no problem and gave me the shovel. I handed it to my mom so she could go first. I was next, and my cousin went last. (Even though she didn't know my uncle, she wanted to share the experience.) Aunt Marge took a pass. Then we watched as the woman threw the rest of the dirt in and completely covered the little white box.

Before we left, I was able to go to my father's gravesite, which wasn't too far from there. Short, sweet and to the point. Uncle Winston's in his new home, and now we can get on with the business of life.

You Gotta Have Friends

2005-08-22T21:35:00.000-04:00

I posted about this before, but I'm feeling the need to revisit the topic. As much as I want to have close friends, I haven't been much of one lately. Thankfully, my real friends understand me enough not to hold it against me.

This is nothing new, I'm just becoming more and more conscious of it as I get older. Being a loner, you just get inside your own head and take people for granted sometimes. Time goes by so fast that before you can pick up the phone to return a call, they end up calling you wondering why you haven't called them back. I apologize profusely and/or make up some bullshit excuse, which of course makes me feel that much worse for not calling them back in the first place. And the cycle continues.

It's so much about procrastination, which I have a chronic case of. I've improved with some things, but with others I still need a lot of work. So much is about timing with me. I've got to feeeel like talking. There are times when the phone rings and I just let the machine get it even though I know who's calling (God bless Caller ID). Sometimes it can take days before I call back. I guess I can be quite the moody bitch at times.

What really woke me up this time was a surprise visit I got yesterday from a friend in California. He called me about two weeks ago and left a message; nothing major, just checking in. It took me about a week, but I ended up sending him an email. That was the week my uncle died so I figured I could get by with that. I promised myself I'd call him in a couple days. Before I could think of picking up the phone, a week passes, the doorbell rings and there he is, standing in front of me. All kinds of feelings were going through me. First of all, I wasn't exactly prepared for company; I was doing some housecleaning and wasn't exactly my freshest. Thankfully, he was just passing through and wasn't planning to stay long. He had his mother and two young sons with him and had to get them back home. I was kind of relieved, but still found myself apologizing, asking him if he got my email, since he didn't respond to it. Of course, there were no hard feelings on his part, but I still felt a little bad about it.

Then I get a call from another friend today. He starts teasing me about how "unloved" he feels. Of course, I feel like shit because I've been thinking about calling him all week and didn't. (I always hate when you're thinking about calling someone and they call you first.) All I can do is apologize and admit that I've been an awful friend. Thankfully, he knows me too well and doesn't hold it against me either.

How can I cultivate any new relationships if I can't even maintain the ones I've got? They say that to resolve a problem, you've got to admit you have one. It's a bit scary opening up, and I don't always feel like I have anything interesting to say. I just have to get past that and do it; just pick up the damn phone. Or, at the very least, send an email. (I usually do better in writing anyway.)

A Great Weekend

2005-08-15T21:37:00.000-04:00

For once I can say that I really enjoyed my weekend. It wasn't anything extraordinary, but it was out of the ordinary for me.

Saturday, my niece, T'Pring, gave a cookout in a park outside her apartment complex. It was family, friends, and lots of food. They even had enough salad and fish for me not to break my diet. The only thing I had to supply was something to drink. I've been avoiding alcohol and sugar, so the beer and sodas weren't going to work for me.

I'm only just getting to know this side of my family, and don't see them that often, so it was great that we all got together. I hadn't seen my brother Melvin in quite a long time, so it was great seeing him too. He did a real good job manning the grill and making everyone laugh. I definitely get my sense of humor from that side of the family.

It was extremely hot, but we made the most of it. Everything just seemed to work out that day; even the subways cooperated. I hardly had to wait for one train or bus. It was a good day.

Sunday was Randy's annual pool party. She's one of my fellow volunteers at God's Love We Deliver. The party was cancelled last year due to health issues, but she's feeling a lot better and got back on track this year. Randy and her husband, Robbie, live way upstate, right next to Connecticut. She arranged to have a van service pick us up at a designated spot in the city and take us up there. We always have fun on the ride up. Other folk drove themselves and met us there.

Despite the eventual thunderstorms, we did manage to get some swimming in before the rain started. I really felt good about getting in a swimsuit after 20 years. (Yes, 20 years!) I almost didn't do it, but I knew if I didn't I'd feel like a fool, especially with temperatures pushing toward 100º. I just couldn't picture myself sweltering while everyone else was out there in the water. No amount of body consciousness is worth that kind of suffering. Plus, it's not like there were any Ms./Mr. Olympia contestants to compete with. It was really great being in the water again. I hadn't swum in so long, I almost thought I forgot how, but some things you just can't forget. I'd actually love to do it for exercise at some point.

Once the rains came, we moved everything indoors. Randy's home is so big and beautiful, it really didn't matter. Even when the power went out for a while, we just lit some candles and had fun anyway. Some of the guys even went in the pool in the rain (once the lightning stopped, of course). The food was great, and we had no problem entertaining ourselves. (If the Thursday night crew is known for anything, it's having a good time.) The best thing about the rain is that it cooled everything off; the temperature must have dropped about 20º. Once it stopped, we were actually able to have dinner outside.

I even did good with the diet until the desserts came out, then all bets were off. I just wasn't strong enough to resist a tableful of sweets. And I did have a couple drinks. I know now that wine is off limits from now on. That, and the desserts, went straight to my head, and not because of the alcohol. The sugar content was just too much for me. I got an instant headache. Hey, you live and learn. I've only been on this diet for 2 weeks. I refuse to beat myself up over it; I know I'll get better as I go along.

Suffice it to say, a good time was had by all. Can't wait till next year.

On A Happier Note

2005-08-09T00:28:00.000-04:00

I just read about this quiz on MoDigli's blog, and decided to try it. The last part's got more truth to it than the first, but who knows, maybe that side just hasn't revealed itself yet. I do like the graphic though; maybe I can devise some better use for it.

You are happy, driven, and status conscious.
You want everyone to know how successful you are.
Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy.

A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself.
You always keep your cool and your composure.
You are a born leader and business person.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

RIP Uncle Winston

2005-08-07T21:21:00.000-04:00

I've experienced death many times, but never the way I did today. My Uncle Winston, who's been sick a long time, died this afternoon.

This is the first time I ever had someone die in my presence, but it wasn't the dramatic kind of death you hear about or see on TV. There was no one running to his bedside with a crash cart breaking out paddles (even though it happened twice before we got there), or no long beep with a flat line running across a computer screen (the most we saw were little blips, that grew progressively smaller, but never went flat). The nurse had to actually tell us he was gone.

The way they had him hooked up to those machines, you couldn't tell what was happening just by looking at him. His breathing was labored, but he was breathing. You can normally tell that someone's alive if they're breathing, but in this case it was merely illusion. When his heart finally did stop, we had no idea because his breathing was the same. The only clue we had that he was going were his cold hands. They were as soft as ever, but ice cold. The nurse said it was because all his energy was being directed toward his heart, so it was normal for the extremities to be cold. His face was still warm though, which was a small comfort, but we at least had something to hold onto for the moment.

Because my mom is the next of kin, she had to sign a form allowing them not to resuscitate him if he regressed. The nurse was very kind and explained everything they had done, and that it would be pointless to keep him going. She said that although he never regained consciousness, he had waited for us to get there, and could tell by the monitors that he was starting to drift away. We agreed that it was time to let him go; he'd suffered enough. My mom told me to let go of his hand so he wouldn't try to hang on any longer. We said a prayer for him, kissed him goodbye, and came home.

I wish him well on his new journey. He's been through an awful lot in his life, and now it's over. He deserves to finally be at peace.

I'm In It To Win It!

2005-08-06T16:15:00.000-04:00

I've been doing pretty well so far with the new diet. I decided though, that I wouldn't get too strict with the health-specific aspect of it right now. I'm just going to focus on general conversion for the first couple of months. It's been stressful enough just trying to figure out what to eat everyday, and having to avoid all the little things I used to snack on without thinking about it. There are more than enough new things on my plate as it is. (No pun intended.)

I just received two books from Amazon that I've been reading, and have been checking out some of their recipes (more details on New Word). The thing is, I have to get all these new ingredients, some of which I never heard of in life, like umeboshi plums, aduki beans and wakame seaweed. Yes, seaweed. All kinds of seaweed. It ain't just for sushi anymore.

I did have fun at a new health store I found yesterday. I had about 3 different lists, which was confusing. My sister faxed me a list of her do's and don'ts, then I created one with all the obscure stuff to get at the health store, and another for the supermarket. It was a bit nerve-wracking, and it was about 100º out (or close to it), so my anxiety level was on the high side. I could have dropped a couple hundred dollars in there easy, but I kept to my $50 budget. $50.19 to be exact. I still have to make another trip to the supermarket to round everything out, but I should have enough stuff to whip up at least 2 or 3 interesting dishes. That might not seem like much, but health food ain't cheap.

I also got a cool new software to keep track of all these new recipes. It's called Cookware Deluxe. I actually had an old demo version of it that I never registered, so once I started all this I took another look at it. Since I'm so committed to my new life ;-), I figured I'd actually pay to register it. It was only about $25, so it didn't break the bank. It came with a bunch of recipes, which is nice, but unfortunately, I'll have to ignore most of them. It's been great so far though. I've started entering and printing out recipes, which is helping things to settle down and make some sense. It'll also help me create shopping lists, which should make my next trip to the health store a lot more organized and a lot less stressful.

Enough Is Enough

2005-07-29T00:04:00.000-04:00

After a very long time of knowing better, and making many meager attempts, I've decided to get myself on a health kick—for real this time. In the past, whenever I'd start a new exercise program I'd automatically start eating better. Unfortunately, it's never lasted more than three or four months at a time.

Although I was never what you'd call "small" (at least since before puberty), weight was never my issue when I started working out. I just wanted to get fit. I figured, if I did the right things, the weight would just fall off. The last thing I ever wanted to do was get caught up in that dieting trap (which always seemed like a boat going nowhere), so I never went that route. One thing I did was give up red meat quite a while back, and I've stuck to that. For religious reasons, I never did do the pork or shellfish thing. I still don't eat pork, but since I'm no longer practicing my religion, I do indulge in a little seafood from time to time, especially shrimp, which I love.

Now I'm about to give up just about everything I love, especially sweets, and take on a macrobiotic diet. It may seem extreme, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I'm at the end of my rope. I've been dealing with a specific health issue for a while now, and I refuse to be cut on. Doctors are so quick to want to whip out the knife, and are so convinced that it's the only possible solution to your problems (next to drugs, of course), that they have you believing it as well. It's never about "if" surgery is the answer, only "which kind" of surgery. There are about three or four procedures they can do for my situation, with varying degrees of extremity. Outside of a coin toss, or drawing straws, I guess it would all boil down to which one would leave the smallest scar.

It's not that I'm against doctors, but there are so many things that people can do to heal themselves, but are unwilling to try because they either want a quick fix, are unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices, or just don't know better. Well, as I've heard all my life, when you know better you do better. The thing is, that kind of "knowledge" is not on an intellectual level. There are too many smart people out there doing incredibly stupid things to themselves. It's on a much deeper emotional and spiritual level. They say that the soul knows, and when the soul's had enough, then that's when the change comes. I guess now my soul's had enough. Although my condition isn't life threatening, the truth is, I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My sister, who's going through the same thing as I am, made her decision to change things, and has been on this eating plan for about four months. I haven't seen her in a while, but she says she feels a lot better and has dropped four dress sizes. That's enough for me. I was making plans for surgery, but after that testimony, I'll be putting it off indefinitely.

I've only started changing my eating habits for about a week now, and it hasn't been easy, but I believe letting go of my sweet tooth will be well worth it to be rid of this problem for good.

Just Taking A Break

2005-07-19T01:08:00.000-04:00

It's about 12:30AM and I'm up cleaning, of all things. This is so out of the usual for me, but I'm leaving town tomorrow, and I hate for things to be a mess when I get back. I'll only be gone a couple days, but it makes no difference. I could have started earlier, but I needed my brainpower for the computer. I did some good work on the new website, so I have no regrets.

Cleaning requires little thinking, so now's as good a time as any. It's actually given me some needed energy for packing. The packing won't take long, as this is a typical business trip and the wardrobe is basically the same every time. I have two "powersuits" that I wear for this gig, and I'll only need one, so it's a no-brainer. I have no complaints; just glad I'll be working.

I also get to travel outside the tri-state area, which is a welcomed change. We're going to Roswell, GA, so I actually get to fly. That'll be different. I usually have to wake up at ungodly hours of the morning to report to work at 7:30AM, as I have a fairy long commute on public transportion. It's particularly rough because my normal hours are so different; I don't usually start stirring before 9, and don't go to sleep till after midnight, so my circadian rhythm is completely shot to hell with this gig. It usually takes about one whole day to recover.

I don't work this gig very often anymore. It's freelance, and they call when they need me. They've been needing me less and less these days, which sucks, but at least they still call sometimes. I think I'm one of the only camera people they have left.

The company I work for teaches presentations skills to corporate types at big companies, and I videotape the students in action. It's pretty basic stuff. Once I get setup in the mornings, I only shoot at 10 to 20 minute intervals 3-4 times a day. A pretty sweet gig. The worst part of the job is getting there. Reporting to work so early is pretty rough, so I have to struggle to stay awake in between tapings. I usually bring something to read, which is good. Or I'll play a game on my PDA or cell phone. Sometimes I actually listen to the lectures, and every once in a while they'll ask me to sit in if they're short a student. This I can do without, but it beats a real job.

Some of the locations are pretty swank, so that's definitely a perk. The food they throw out in one day could feed a family for a week. It's amazing the kind of money these corporations have to throw around. But again, I'm not complaining. Just glad for the work.

Now let me go pack!

Radio Online…So Sublime

2005-07-15T18:40:00.000-04:00

I was talking music last week with my friend Naama, who's a bartender/waitress at Cody's, the spot we go to after our shift at God's Love We Deliver on Thursday nights. As she was trying to find something interesting to play on their satellite TV radio, we got onto the subject of internet radio. Since she has no TV at home, she really gets into the online thing, and was pretty acquainted with internet radio. Come to find, we have similar tastes in music, though hers is a bit more eclectic.

I originally discovered internet radio maybe about three years ago through my iTunes when I first got DSL. I absolutely loved that there were no commercials. I also loved that I was able to hear something different than what was on regular radio (aka "terrestrial" radio). The beauty of internet radio is that you almost never hear the same song twice, and you get music of all genres from all over the world. The continuous rotation of the same songs can get—to say the least—redundant, with even songs you like getting on your nerves after a while.

I've only been back online for about six months or so after a year-and-a-half hiatus, so I'm still reacquainting myself with everything. I've been listening to internet radio again for about a week, and it's been such a joy I can't believe it. No commercials! None whatsoever!! I almost forgot how great that is. The only interruptions are station ID's and music promos, which I could live without, but they're no comparison to 10 minutes worth of ads every 5 minutes.

I don't know if I'll ever have a reason to go back to regular radio.

One Day At A Time

2005-07-12T01:35:00.000-04:00

I wasn't sure I was going to post today. I missed the midnight deadline, so it's no longer Monday, but we're just going to act like it is, OK?

I've been pretty hit-and-miss with posting these past few days. I tried to keep up with some blog reading, but I missed New Word Wednesday, and my last post here was Saturday. Since I only post once a week on New Word, missing a day can look pretty neglectful. Right now, I'm afraid to say, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Working on my new enterprise and website will leave less time for blogging, but I will do my best to maintain. It's become such an important part of my being these days, I can't imagine being without it for too long. Although time management has never been a strong suit, I'll just have to learn to fit it in.

One problem I'm having is that I work and blog from the same computer, and it's kind of hard to shift gears. After a while I've just had enough of the computer and need a change of scene. (Too much of a good thing, and all that.) I'll be OK once this period of adjustment is past. In the meantime, it's starting to take shape a little at a time. I'm having fun with it, so it's all good.

Alone Again…Naturally

2005-07-09T22:34:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about relationships these days, particularly friendships. I tend to spend a lot of time by myself, which I enjoy, since I'm a natural loner, but I do feel the need to be with others at times. It's not that I'm completely alone; there are others in the house, it's just that I don't connect with anyone too intimately (but then I never really have).

I've got my weekly thing at God's Love which is my primary social outlet, and that's fine, but sometimes I need more than that. Although I can be quite the social creature, I can still feel alone sometimes, even among the folk there, which can be excruciating. Being alone in a crowd feels a lot worse than just being by myself.

A lot of my disconnect comes from not working outside my house too often, and not having much of an income (oh, the shame of it all). Staying home is definitely cheaper, but can be quite stifling. It also leaves a lot to be desired in terms of conversation. What do you talk about if all you do is stare into a computer screen all day and read trade publications? If it wasn't for TV and newspapers (and of course the internet) I wouldn't know what the hell was going on out there! (Even with all that I can be a day late with the news.)

Right now, I'm pretty thankful for the blog thing. I can be home and with people at the same time, but even the web has it's limits. I admit that I haven't thrown myself into it totally. I've never participated in online chats or did any dating (I don't date in real life either, so no difference there). I only signed onto Friendster at someone else's behest (see my previous post). I guess life, and the World Wide Web, is what you make it.

This isn't the first time I've mentioned by inability to open up, it's just been on my mind again. Just bringing all this up again is a bit uncomfortable, but I'm trying. I admire people who can be vulnerable and revealing online. I guess this is my meager attempt at it. It's definitely cheaper than therapy.

They say that to have friends you've got to be one. It's not that I have no friends, I'm just a bit neglectful with calling and reaching out sometimes. I'm working on it, but I wish it came more naturally to me. It does feel like a lot of work sometimes. Maybe I just shouldn't think about it so much.

The New Melmorg

2005-07-08T23:34:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling kind of good right now because I've been working on my new website for my new venture, Melmorg Media. I've finally gotten my hands dirty in Adobe GoLive and am having a lot of fun with it. I'm also feeling pretty good about my new little business, although I didn't think I was ready to jump back into the entrepreneurial pool just yet.

I've attempted a couple of businesses in the past that didn't get too far off the ground, but I have a good feeling about this one. This time I'm taking a much different emotional approach, which I believe will help me in my business approach. There's a saying about not putting the cart before the horse, and that's exactly how I did things in the past. It's like buying all the stuff to put in a house that hasn't been built yet. This ass-backwards way has caused nothing but headaches and heartaches, but I've simply refused to give in and work for the "man."

This time, I'm not creating any unrealistic expectations, making any quick decisions, and most of all, I'm working on a much more faith-based level. It's always been so easy to doubt myself and my abilities, believing that I needed others to validate me. Now I can look back and see everything I've learned and know that I'm ready to go for myself, however long it takes, and know that the Creator is willing and able to provide whatever, and whomever, I need to be successful (i.e. "paid").

Live8 Update

2005-07-04T13:52:00.000-04:00

I watched parts of the Live8 concert on Saturday, and have been wanting to say something about it. I just had to learn more first, so I went online and did a little research. I'm not the most political sort, so I wasn't at all familiar with this whole G8 thing.

From the Live8 site, I ended up on the site of the ONE campaign that's tied in with it. I'd been seeing those black-and-white ads with all the celebrities and was curious as to what it was all about. The more I read, the more sense it made and the more I got into it. The site even had a speech by Nelson Mandela that I watched, and was moved by (and what ultimately made me sign on).

The premise is pretty simple. The organizers of Live8 and the ONE organization want to impress upon the world leaders meeting at the G8 Summit in Scotland on July 6 to do something about the overwhelming situation in Africa where people, especially children, are dying by the thousands from starvation and AIDS on a daily basis.

On the website, they're asking people to sign a petition asking G8 leaders to cancel debts owed to African countries, to increase aid, and to change trade laws giving poor nations a better chance to prosper and develop on their own.

It so amazing to me how they've used technology, especially the internet, to get their message out. The results have been staggering. What's even cooler is that they have blogs set up just for people to voice their opinions. I've checked out the ONE blog and it's pretty awesome. I've already blogrolled it. I'm also going to add myself to their blogroll. I just wanted to get this post up first. It's a great way to keep up with what's happening and get different points of view. Click to read BBC article.

Whether or not all this makes an impact on the G8 leaders, it's definitely brought about an awareness of the situation that exists in Africa today, especially to the youth. It just boggles the mind that things could still exist like this in 2005. It doesn't speak well for any of us when we bitch and moan about such little things in our lives, when all these people want to do is just live. It's a tall order, but I pray the next generation will meet the ultimate goal to "make poverty history."

Although it can be hard to wrap our minds around, we've got to start believing that the power of one CAN make a difference. I'm just glad I'm on board (can't wait to get my wristbands).

Forever, For Always, For Luther

2005-07-03T19:33:00.000-04:00

I had planned to do a Part 2 of the music list I posted a few days ago because there was just too many artists that I left out, but after the passing of Luther Vandross on Friday it only made sense to do it as a tribute to him.

As it's impossible to narrow this list down to 5 songs, I've chosen to list 10 of my favorites (and even that's not enough). They're not listed in any particular order of importance, though the titles in the first half of the list all have the word "love" in them. What else would you expect from love's greatest musical spokesman? (Album titles are in parentheses along with the year of release.)

1- Forever, For Always, For Love (Forever, For Always, For Love; 1982)
This amazing ballad came off of Luther's second album. I was going through my collection and can't believe I don't have this! It's one of his greatest albums—a true classic.

2- Any Love (Any Love; 1988)
Everyone needs love, no doubt—any love
Everybody feels alone without any love

Who can't relate to that?

3- Night I Fell In Love (The Night I Fell In Love; 1985)
One of Luther's best uptempo songs. This one totally grooves.

4- For You To Love (Any Love; 1988)
With Marcus Miller as co-writer and bass player, the groove couldn't be tighter. And who else but Luther can make a booty call sound so romantic!

5- Power Of Love/Love Power (Power Of Love; 1991)
When I say goodbye it is never for long
'Cause I know our love still lives on
And it'll be again exactly like it was
'Cause I believe in the power of love

What could be a better epitaph for someone that reminded us of love's power on every song he sang?

6- Superstar/Until You Come Back To Me (Busy Body; 1983)
When I first heard this song, I had never heard the Carpenters' version. Once I did, I couldn't believe it was the same song. The fact is, it no longer was the same song. Once Luther got a hold of a song it totally became his. I once heard him say that he has to "Lutherize" any song he covers. Once you've heard Luther's version, you forget any other version existed. An absolute masterpiece!

7a- A House Is Not A Home (Never Too Much; 1981)
7b- Anyone Who Had A Heart (Give Me The Reason; 1986)
These two songs attest to Luther's unique ability to totally transform a song and make it his own. Both of these were Burt Bacharach compositions recorded by Dionne Warwick back in the 1970s. As much as I love Dionne's versions, they just don't do it for me like Luther's.

8- Creepin' (The Night I Fell In Love; 1985)
I kind of cheated with the last two with the a- & b- thing, but I had to squeeze this in. This is one of my all time favorite Luther covers. As good as the original Stevie Wonder version was—and I loved that—Luther once again completely recreated this song for himself. And Cissy Houston totally does her thing in the background.

9- Never Too Much (Never Too Much; 1981)
This is the first solo hit Luther had back in 1981. It sounds just as good today as it did back then. You'll definitely run out of breath trying to sing along with those verses.

10- Here And Now (Love Is On The Way; 1998)
One of the biggest wedding songs of the 20th Century. Need I say more?

Bonus Track: Dance With My Father (Dance With My Father; 2003)
This is of particular importance to me because today (July 3) is my father's birthday. I always remember it, but since he's been gone so long (almost 30 years), it's easy to let it slip by without acknowledging it in some significant way. Thinking about this song for this post made me feel like doing something more public.

Just A Note: Luther Vandross created some of the best background vocal arrangements for his songs. This isn't surprising since he was one of the best background vocalists in the business back in the day. As such, he could do no less than get the best singers for himself—Lisa Fisher, Cissy Houston, Fonzi Thornton, Kevin Owens, Cindy Mizelle, and Tawatha Agee, among others. Check out I Want The Night To Stay on the Power Of Love CD. (Just thought I'd sneak that one in.)

Luther Vandross was undisputedly the greatest R&B vocalist of his generation. I'm only sorry I never got to see him perform live. My sister's seen him, and she says his show was nothing short of perfection. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

RIP Luther

2005-07-01T22:31:00.000-04:00

This is a very sad day and my heart weighs very heavy right now. The great Luther Vandross has passed away. Thankfully, the world will have all the great music he left behind, though we'll regret not hearing anything new.

Even though I didn't mention him in my previous post, he'll "always and forever" be one of my all time music favorites.

Music, Music, Music

2005-06-30T21:51:00.000-04:00

As I've been catching up on all things blog, I learned that I was "tagged" by my blogbud, MoDigli, in one of her posts to answer some music questions. I was able to comment with some general info on her blog, but as I was trying to come up with more complete answers, it was much harder than I thought it would be; it took a couple of days to work it all out. There's just too much music to narrow down! Anyway, here's my attempt to play along.

Total volume of music files on my computer?
As I check my iTunes library, my most recent count is 1817 songs, 6 days, 8.68GB. Those numbers will be increasing soon as I'm somewhat of a LimeWire junkie.

A little background:
I originally started downloading songs for a birthday party video I was editing, then I got the idea to create CD compilations to give as gifts—I even sold a few. Even though my CD collection is substantive, you can never have enough music; I also needed more diversity.

I grew up primarily on black music, especially R&B and gospel. That's still what I listen to most, and is the bulk of my collection, along with jazz, which I acquired a taste for in college. Because hip hop came into being while I was still in high school, its also an influence. I'm not always crazy about it lyrically, but I can definitely appreciate it musically. Bottom line, I just love good music, especially anything with a smooth groove and a generous dose of funk.

The last CD I bought was:
Fantasia's Free Yourself. I loved her so much on American Idol that I knew I'd be buying her album. I especially love the title cut, and her version of Summertime from the musical, Porgy & Bess. You can hear them on her official website, or on Launch.com.

That's the first CD I've bought in a while, but I recently joined the music club again, so I'll be stocking up again soon. I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Song playing right now:
Nothing was playing when I started writing this, so I scrolled through my iTunes to see if anything grabbed me. I came across a gospel song I hadn't heard for a while called Set The Atmosphere by Kurt Carr & The Kurt Carr Singers. It actually moved me to tears. I forgot how music can affect you sometimes when you least expect it. It's from the Awesome Wonder CD. For those into gospel music, I recommend it highly.

Five (5) songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order): (Album titles are in parentheses.)

1) Little Things from India.Arie (Voyage To India).
I love this song so much because it reminds us to appreciate what we have in life and not take anything for granted. No matter how much we aspire to and acquire in life we should never lose sight of what's truly important. After all, big gifts do come in small packages.

2) Video from India.Arie (Acoustic Soul).
This song should be the anthem for every little girl born in the universe. Societies of every culture really do a number on women with all the "values" and "ideals" they impose on us. In the new millennium it's got to be about self-love and acceptance no matter what size and shape we come in. (Can I get an amen!)

3) Far Away from Kindred The Family Soul (Surrender To Love).
As someone born and raised in a big city, I can definitely relate to the need to escape it every so often, especially with someone special. I love the whole neo-soul thing going on now, and this husband & wife team is right at the top of it. There's definitely a Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway vibe going on here.

4) Can We Change The World from Maysa (Maysa).
Maysa Leak is the lead singer for the awesome British jazz/funk band, Incognito. This was my favorite song from her first solo album back in 1995. She's got one of the smoothest voices out there (like a female Luther Vandross); I can listen to her all day. The message that "only we can change the world" is dead on. The fact is, we've got to change ourselves first, working from the inside out.

5) Bag Lady from Erykah Badu (Mama's Gun).
Not only is the beat on this funky as hell, the message is on point too. It's basically telling us women to take better care of ourselves and let go of all the excess stuff (and people) dragging us down. We've just got to keep it moving and trust that "love will make it better."

Wrap Up:
As I don't have many blog friends yet, I'll only tag three people right now—Erin at Poetic Acceptance, Lorianne at Hoarded Ordinaries, and Zenday at Inside Zenday's Head. Anyone else who reads this is more than welcome to play along. Please let me know what you come up with.

To Comment or Not to Comment …

2005-06-29T01:15:00.000-04:00

I'm still trying to get a grip on this commenting thing with the blogs. Sometimes I don't know where to post a comment. Do I do it on my blog or on theirs—or both? Or do I email them? I've done all of the above and it can be a little confusing. Sometimes I feel so rude if I don't comment, but when I comment in too many places it feels redundant. And when I comment in my own blog I'm not sure they actually get to see it and I'll still look rude. It's also weird to get an email telling me that I made a comment to my own blog. (Can you feel my pain?)

My blogbud MoDigli's got a pretty good system going. In her blog, she comments in response to everyone else's comments. Is that how it's supposed to be? It seems to work so well for her. She also comments on other people's blogs. It seems like everyone just gets into the flow of it. It's like she's got her own call-in (OK, write-in) talk show going on with a regular set of guests. Or one of those telephone party lines, just cheaper and more intelligent.

Well, Mo, if you read this just keep doing what your doing. It's working great for you, and I'm glad to be a part of it. I just hope I can figure this thing out before I totally offend and confuse everybody. :-)

Maybe Next Year?

2005-06-27T20:40:00.000-04:00

For the last two years, I marched with God's Love We Deliver in the Gay Pride parade. Even though it's a long walk, and a long wait before we can hook up with our float, it's always a lot of fun hanging out with my buds at God's Love. With all the people cheering us on from the sidelines, the music, and the wacky cast of costumed (and considerably less clothed) characters, I always have fun being "gay for a day."

A shot of the God's Love float from the 2004 Gay Pride parade.

Me and some of my Thursday night buds at the 2003 parade.

I missed the parade yesterday because I had a wedding to go to. For once I was an invited guest as opposed to being the videographer. (I did end up shooting video for this too, but unofficially.) I actually got to dress up for a change.

Although nice, the wedding wasn't too elaborate. They just had way too many kids running around. (There were 6 between the bride and groom alone!) They almost knocked me down while I was taping some of the dancing. I believe that certain events should be adults only. The best behaved kids can be hard to control sometimes, but if they're untrained to begin with it's sheer terror, especially when given an open dance floor to run around in and other kids to influence and encourage them.

Overall, it was a nice day, but I do hope to be marching again next year.

My New Cyberpet

2005-06-25T14:40:00.000-04:00

I was checking out a blog from my newest commenter, Zenday, and saw a link to a site called bunnyherolabs.com, where you can adopt a virtual pet. I decided to adopt a goldfish which I named Midas 3rd. Check him out in the sidebar. If you want to see him swim, you'll have to click on the "play with me" link.

I named him Midas 3rd in tribute to my last two goldfish (real ones) that died tragic, untimely deaths a few years ago. As you may have surmised, they were named Midas and Midas 2nd.

Midas originally shared the tank with a laid back black moor named Sammy that he ultimately harassed to death. I replaced Sammy with a calico goldfish named Jasper which was a much better match for him. After they died, I replaced them with identical fish, Midas 2nd and Jasper 2nd, who eventually went the same route.

Watching them all die was far too traumatic, so I didn't want to do the fish thing again for a while. Maybe one day I'll set up another aquarium, but in the meantime my cyberfish will make a nice transition.

Babies, I'm Back!

2005-06-25T11:08:00.000-04:00

I'm finally over the phone trauma that's plagued me for the past month. I've got my phone service back, I'm online again, and I can finally start blogging. I actually could have gone to the library, but I was much too lazy for that (even though it's just across the street from my house). It's hard to change how you do things once you've set up a routine.

I did attempt the audio posts, but they just weren't the same for me. I thought I'd be doing that everyday, but I couldn't quite get into the rhythm of it. It was an interesting experience, but it's hard to hear the sound of my own voice. I just like writing better.

Thanks to anyone who has checked out this blog or New Word, and for anyone who has commented on either site, thank you, and I apologize for not answering back.

2005-05-29T19:09:00.000-04:00

2005-05-26T15:40:00.000-04:00

I'm A Friendster, She's A Friendster …

2005-05-23T21:09:00.000-04:00

I signed onto Friendster today. I've heard of it, but since I wasn't really into web chatting or dating, I didn't really care enough to look into it. I actually signed onto Match.com last year, but was too chicken to fill out the profile and bailed. It's only since I've been blogging that I'm even remotely interested in any kind of interpersonal communication online beyond email and IM (which I haven't done in years). I'm pretty sketchy with my Blogger profile as well, which works for me right now.

Speaking of email, I received one from a new friend, Sumi, that I met at God's Love last week. She submitted a poem for the Thurs.Night site, and asked if I was on Friendster. She said that we could be "friendsters" if I signed up. So I checked it out. First off, I loved the design. The look and feel reminded me a lot of Blogger, especially the profile section (I had to check to see whether Google owned it too). You can even set up a blog on it. Unfortunately, the free version has ads on it, and I don't really need another personal blog, so I won't be taking advantage of that.

Sumi and I are now "friendsters" and I even found Will, another Thursday-Nighter, on there. And I actually started filling out my profile.

This Explains A Lot!

2005-05-21T20:02:00.000-04:00

I just did this quiz on a site called Blogthings. I found the link on the blog of one of my recent commenters, MoDigli. You answer a series of questions and they come up with your "young at heart" age. Mine, as you can see below is 20.

I always thought I was a little less mature than I should be, and I have been "drawn to" a few twentysomethings these days, but dang! That's almost a 20 year difference. I'm not mad though. People tell me I don't look my age, which is great (but not surpising—black don't crack, after all), but to know I'm this young in spirit is truly a blessing. I hope this will be the case 20 years from now.

You Are 20 Years Old

20

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view — and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come...love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Making Time for Blogs

2005-05-21T19:08:00.000-04:00

Since I started blogging last month, I really haven't read through too many other blogs. I've checked those from commenters to my blogs, and I've scrolled through quite a few as a result of my various listings (a requisite for being listed) and the Blogger navbar. I've bookmarked some, but there are less than a handful that I've actually read all the way through or commented to.

I'm sure you can read a blog any way you want, but I always like to start from the first post. I find it a lot more comprehensive and informative. I can get a much better idea of what a person's story is, and who they are in general. It's not the easiest way considering that some folk have been blogging for years; there can be tons of posts to get through (but hey, I've got nothing but time, right? ;-) ).

I've decided to start reading some blogs regularly now that I've got mine pretty much set up the way I want them. I'll of course continue to post regularly, but I'll spend less time on all the add-ons and links. I'm looking forward to getting to know some other bloggers, and who knows, I might just make a friend or two.

A Night at the Blue Note

2005-05-17T16:24:00.000-04:00

Alyson Williams tearin' it up at the Blue Note!

I finally got a chance to go to the Blue Note Jazz Club last night thanks to my friend Dawn. Although I was born and raised in NYC, I've never crossed the threshhold of this landmark establishment. It's a shame, but pretty common for native New Yorkers not to see all the sights. The last Broadway show I saw was 2 years ago, and before that, maybe 10.

There was a couple at our table from Holland who were in the US, and at the Blue Note, for the first time. The other folk at our table were from the south, but I'm not exactly sure where; the accent sounded Texan. I also heard there were people there from Japan and other places. Japan has no shortage of Blue Note clubs; there must be about four of them there.

The featured artist last night was Alyson Williams. She had an R&B hit back in the 90's, Just Call My Name, which I love, so I was anxious to see her perform live. Unfortunately, she didn't sing it, but instead chose to do a full jazz set including old standards and covers of some more recent pop songs like Simply Red's Holding Back The Years. She did her thing though, so I had no complaints.

I was surprised by how small the stage was at the Blue Note, but I do like an intimate setting. Another friend of ours, Allen, also came, and although it was a tight fit at our table we had great seats, and a great time.

Get FIREFOX!

2005-05-15T22:08:00.000-04:00

I've just been checking to see how my blogs look on different browsers. I've been using Safari primarily since I have a Mac, but I still use Explorer for one or two things. Since I've been blogging I've heard a lot about the Firefox browser, so I downloaded it. I have to say that although both my blogs look good in Safari for the most part, others I've checked out look a lot better with Firefox.

It's not perfect, but it beats Explorer by a mile. I just looked at my blogs in IE and was horrified to see what it did to them. I don't know if it would be any different with a PC, but on my Mac it was ridiculous.

I already have a button in the sidebar, but after seeing the mess Explorer made of my blogs, I felt compelled to further promote the Firefox browser. I'm no real web geek, but seeing is believing. I'm looking forward to whatever improvements they make to it.

Light Bright 2005: A Success!

2005-05-13T13:55:00.000-04:00

The Light Bright Project exhibit last night was a smashing success! Despite losing 2 nights of sleep, I got the video done. Actually, it's still unfinished but I was able to put it together enough to present. Technical difficulties notwithstanding, everyone loved it.

I was so happy to be a part of this project. Everyone is so positive, and the school really appreciated the effort put into it; they want us to work with them again next year. The kids were proud to see their work displayed (even though they didn't want to act like it), and they presented us all with gifts (I got a box of chocolates, which I love).

My Virgin Vlog

2005-05-13T13:31:00.000-04:00

Here, ladies and gentlemen, is my very first videoblog. It's a little slideshow I put together from The Light Bright Project's 2002 opening exhibit. Michael, one of the instructors, is on the left, with my friend Patrick, Light Bright's founder, on the right.

CLICK TO VIEW

Discovering Vlogging

2005-05-10T18:57:00.000-04:00

From the time I started this blog I wanted to figure out how to post video clips. I had seen videos on other blogs, but they didn't look like much so I didn't pay them too much attention.

As I've been working on the Light Bright Project, I thought about possibly posting a clip of what I'm working on here, but I didn't know how. I decided to start researching videoblogging and was blown away. It's in a world all it's own! People who vlog are very serious about it, and very committed. And I loved their creativity. It was really inspiring to me as a videographer and wannabee filmmaker.

I know I'll want to post some video to my regular blogs, but I'm not sure I'd want to commit to doing an entire vlog. Who knows? Never say never. One thing I know is that I'm much more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it.

The Light Bright Project

2005-05-07T00:45:00.000-04:00

I've been so consumed with blogging lately that I'm starting to neglect other projects. These aren't paid projects (thankfully), but are still important.

I've been working on something called The Light Bright Project started by my photographer friend Patrick as his way of giving back to the community. He enlists some of his photog friends to go into an elementary school and teach children about photography for a few weeks. This is Light Bright's third year. They've worked with older kids in the past (12-14) but this year they're working with fifth graders.

They start out with a few in-class lectures showing slides to teach the basic rules, then give the kids small cameras, a couple of rolls of film (one color, one b/w), and have them go out and shoot. After processing the film, the photographers help the students choose a photo from each roll and let them critique each other's work. The project is concluded with an exhibition of the students' framed photos.

I was asked to videotape some of these sessions and create a 10 minute reel which will be looped over and over at the exhibit. So far I haven't even looked at the footage yet. I still have to log it, capture it into the computer, and figure out some way to make it work. On top of that, it's been a while since I've edited anything, so I'm a bit rusty with Final Cut Pro. I know that once I get started, it should be fine (you know, the whole 'riding a bike' thing), but I've got to get out of the blogosphere long enough to do it. Thankfully, I only have about a couple hours footage to deal with.

The crazy thing is I offered to do this. I wanted to get back into editing so I "magnanimously" offered my services. I'll let you know if I did the right thing or not.

To learn more about The Light Bright Project check out Patrick's site: ptmulcahy.com

Photo Friday

2005-05-06T22:03:00.000-04:00

I've been having trouble managing my blogging sessions so I decided to create a schedule. Today is "Photo Friday." I got the term from a site I found of the same name that creates themes for photographers to shoot each week. I've been working on setting up my photoblogs, so I'm devoting Fridays to all things photo.

I'll be posting to my New Word blog on Wednesdays, and will continue to post here daily (or as time permits). I have my Thurs.Night site also (not a blog), which I'll work on on Sundays (that'll only be twice a month, so I won't be that stressed).

That should cover it. Now I won't lose my mind out here in blogland.

Operation: Pamper Mom - Part 1

2005-05-05T14:02:00.000-04:00

Today I treated Mom to a manicure and took her to breakfast. This is the first day of the rest of her life and I wanted to get started right. It's also a kind of pre-Mother's day thing. We had a lot of fun. She never does anything like this for herself so I was glad to do it for her. She actually said that since leaving the hospital last night, life seems just a little bit sweeter today. I couldn't agree more!

Me & Mom in 1985 (yes, I had a jheri curl)

Mom's Clean Bill of Health

2005-05-04T22:27:00.000-04:00

My mom came home from the hospital today. She went into emergency on Saturday after experiencing a strange chest pain. They first said she had a clot on her lung, but after going through a battery of tests they found everything A-OK. Her blood pressure's still a little high, but everything else is cool. It's quite a relief considering that the one of the doctors made us believe it could be anything from a heart problem to cancer. We didn't know what to think. It was a bit of a scare, but it's all good now.

Mom's really got to slow herself down. She does so much for so many and doesn't always take care of herself. This is definitely a wake-up call for both of us. It's time for her to ease up and live as stress-free as possible.

I'm just glad she'll be home on Mother's Day.

Another Party?!

2005-05-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

Yes folks, God's Love We Deliver had its annual Volunteer Appreciation Party last night at Club LQ, and it was off the chain! I'm limping today from dancing so hard. As with Saturday night, a good time was had by all. And I didn't drink too much either, which is good.

Me & the Thursday Night crew. Represent!

80's Party Report

2005-05-01T23:04:00.000-04:00

Well the party's over and a good time was had by all. The whole wardrobe thing was really no big deal. I did manage to find an old pair of eyeglasses that I pulled out for effect, and I wore a velour shirt. Even though I bought it much more recently, velour was really big in the 80's. I remember people wore velour in all kinds of colors, especially sweatsuits.

It really didn't get too crazy, except for my friend Lars who sported a mullet wig. Despite the rain and the long day, I got there, drank too much, and had a lot of fun.

Some of the Thursday Night gang at Donna's Party. Donna's got the fro.

Arthur & me in my velour

The Funky Fresh 80's

2005-04-30T09:34:00.000-04:00

I've got this 80's party tonight. It's a sendoff for one of my God's Love friends who's joining the Peace Corp. I'm excited about going, but not about the 80's gear we're supposed to wear.

I'm not really a theme party kind of girl. It's just not worth the expense for me since I'm on a strict budget right now. But I don't want to be uncooperative. I had to rack my brain to remember what I used to wear back then. I was pretty conservative, but there were a couple of standout items. Shoulder pads for one. They were in everything! (I must have spent half the 90's cutting them out of all my clothes.) And huge eyeglasses. It's amazing how fly we thought we were, and how stupid they look now. If I can find an old pair I'll rock those.

Another thing I wore constantly were those Reebok aerobics shoes. They used to come in every color of the rainbow. I only wore black (more practical for a poor college student), but I wanted all the colors. Your shoes had to match your shirt too (and so did your socks). Everything matched to a fault. And then there were the jeans—Sergio's, Jordache, Sassoon. And those Member's Only jackets. It's all coming back to me now. (Wake me when the nightmare is over!)

I wore a lot of neckties too. That whole Annie Hall thing was big then. Duck boots also made a splash in the 80's (pun intended). Then there was the jheri curl. The ubiquitous jheri curl. The disgusting, juice-dripping jheri curl. It was on the head of at least 50% of black folks in America at that time (I can't speak for other parts of the world). That's a whole discussion in itself!

As fun as it was tripping down memory lane, I'll just quit while I'm ahead (I'm already too close to giving my age away). :-) I just hope I'll be able to put something together so as not to disappoint.

Photoblog News

2005-04-26T23:25:00.000-04:00

I'm ready to start my photoblog. I came up with some good ideas today at work. I've been wanting to get my photos online for a while, but wasn't ready to do a full blown website. I eventually want to do an online gallery, but in the meantime, setting up a blog just feels good right now.

The blog format allows for both snapshot type stuff, and photo essays. I can tell stories, as opposed to just featuring single pieces. I can add short captions or full descriptions of an image—or not. It's whatever I want it to be. I even came up with a name that fits it nicely. I'll share that when it's finally up.

Those Eyes, Those Cheeks …That Hat!

2005-04-23T17:38:00.000-04:00

Here's one of my favorite photos of Shakira. She was about 6 or 7 months when I took this. Do you love the hat or what?

She's OK

2005-04-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

Shakira had to be rushed to the hospital last night (or should I say this morning. It was around 2:30am). She had the strangest cough we ever heard, and had very labored breathing. Just the sound of it scared the hell out of us. It turned out to be croup, a condition I only vaguely heard of. It's an inflammation of the respiratory passages. My mother says it used to kill babies back in the day. Thankfully, that's not the case now. They simply gave her some oxygen, a prescription, and set her on her way.

She's still not 100%, but she's a whole lot better than when she left here last night. Thank God!

Catching Up

2005-04-23T01:40:00.000-04:00

It's after one in the morning and I've decided to post something. I can't believe it's almost been a week since my last post on Monday; time just goes by too fast sometimes. I guess the novelty of this blogging is starting to wear off, or it could be that I've been much busier this week.

I got called to work on Wednesday, which was good; it's been a while. I was glad to wear my "power suit" again. I learned how to use one of those new DVD cameras for the gig. They basically work like a regular video camera, but are much more delicate. They really are more like computers in that you have to wait for them to read or write to the disk for everything. It slows things down, but the whole tapeless thing is kinda cool. I also got to use the DVD player. I never actually operated one, though I've seen them in the stores. That's definitely on my to-get list.

As much as I love technology, I tend to lag a bit behind, always playing catch-up (mostly for financial reasons). I eventually do, then life is good again. The thing with me is that whatever I get I keep till it stops working or becomes so outmoded that it's not compatible with anything. I'm not one of those gearheads that have to have everything the minute it comes out, then get rid of it the minute the next thing hits the shelves. I like getting to know my equipment enough to not have to think about it. As long as it serves my purposes, it's all good.

My sister's the same way. She's got some dinosaurs like a VCR, a fax machine, and a laser printer from at least 10 years ago that she claims still work. I don't doubt it. We both take very good care of our stuff, so it'll last as long as it can. The problem is that these days equipment isn't made to last, no matter what you do. It's all disposable now. They sell the printers for cheap and you pay a fortune for the ink. It's insane!

It's 1:30 now, and I'm still writing. I don't know why; it's not like I really have anything important to say. I'll just sign off. Until next time.

Give Peace A Chance

2005-04-18T15:27:00.000-04:00

Went to see Marianne Williamson again yesterday. I got so much more out of it this time than the last two times I went. Unfortunately, she won't be back in New York like this again for a while.

I've been working on my spiritual side for a while now, and have read all kinds of books like Conversations With God (Books 1-3), and The Artist's Way, both of which I recommend highly, and have kept journals for the last few years, but I don't get to hear people speak that often. I've seen Iyanla Vanzant and Maya Angelou, and although I've heard about Marianne Williamson, I've never heard her speak, not even on television, so when my sister invited me to one of her lectures, sponsored by the seminary she attends, I went. Like any new experience, you don't always jump right in; it takes a while to warm up.

Now I can see what all the fuss is about; the woman is no joke. She has a warm style that draws you in and is very down to earth. Moreso, she knows what she's talking about. She draws her information from many places, especially A Course In Miracles, which I'm now convinced to check out. I'm also going to read her books.

She's even got me interested in politics a little, something I've had zero interest in in the past (beyond voting in major elections). She's the chair for an organization called The Peace Alliance, which is working to create a U.S. Department of Peace. I actually first heard of it though the Conversations books; the author, Neale Walsch, is also working with the Alliance. I think it's all very cool. God knows war doesn't work, so as John Lennon said, "give peace a chance."

Just Having Fun

2005-04-17T11:12:00.000-04:00

Still looking around at blogs. I've actually stopped to read some in their entirety. Real interesting stuff. I'm amazed at just how open people can be on these things. I've never really been an open person (maybe it's the Scorpio in me); very much a loner, even around others. Was real shy as a kid. I'm much better now though (maybe I've just learned how to disguise it better).

I've always wanted to find an outlet to express myself, but nothing ever stuck. Very frustrating. I've been involved in the arts and media arts for years, but it's never really been personal. I've always thought of it more in terms of earning a living or at least making some kind of money (which has yet to really happen, sad to say), or just to help someone else realize their dream. (A good way to hide, perhaps?) Part of the problem is that I overthink everything. I take myself way too seriously, and get freaked out at the possibility of letting go and just doing something for the hell of it—just for fun; I always have to have a reason.

So far, the blogging thing works for me. I'm writing, which is something I've always run away from even though I'm fairly good at it. I've always seen myself more as a visual person. Maybe I'm delusional about this. Maybe writing is where I should be. (See, thinking too much again.)

I was really impressed by one of the blogs I read; I just finished reading it before writing this post. It was by a woman who commented on my New Word blog. (see Poetic Acceptance in the sidebar.) She's really into poetry, which is something I'm new at. She gave me some good advice about checking out online writing forums and not getting scammed by certain "vanity press" sites (whatever those are).

Her blog gave me some ideas about the direction I'd like to take with mine. I think it's already influenced me somehow with the way I'm writing. That's a good thing. I admit that since I started this blog, I've been a little skittish about putting too much of myself on here/out there. I continually remind myself that this process is about letting go of the fear and jumping into something new. It's about me doing whatever I want to do, with no explanations or apologies, and learning as I go—and having fun with it. So that's what I'm going to do.

Back Again

2005-04-16T16:22:00.000-04:00

It's been a few days since my last entry. I've been doing a lot of research for New Word. I've been adding links and setting up different add-ons like counters, etc., and editing old posts. I've also added a couple of things here as well. That stuff takes a lot longer than you'd think; all the back and forth between different sites, checking and rechecking until it's right. I spend a lot of time in the Help section.

Since I'm still new to blogging and web design, I spend a lot of time just learning how to do things, like using HTML to make changes to the templates. Doing HTML coding is a pain in the ass, but it's good to be able to get things exactly the way I want them; it really appeals to my anal side.

The whole literary thing is pretty fascinating also. I'm learning a lot about books and writers, and who I'd like to feature in New Word. I'm particularly interested in books that have been made into movies, poetry, and African-American literature (each one could be a blog unto itself).

It's so amazing how the internet can carry you from one thing to the next once you start digging around. You really get lost in it; I have to force myself to leave the computer sometimes, the hours just roll by. I do need to get out and take a walk or something. (See previous post, "Blogging: The New Crack?")

It's all worth it to see how things are coming together. Once I get the look and formatting down I should be posting a lot more.

New Word Update (aka Blog #2)

2005-04-13T14:25:00.000-04:00

Was working on New Word for most of yesterday. It's looking pretty good. I even got a comment, which I didn't expect so soon; I was still adding edits to the post when it came through. I have to say, it was very exciting for me. You write this stuff as if someone might read it, but you don't really know if they will.

If you want to check out New Word, the link is in the sidebar.

I'm also in the process of collaborating on another blog with a friend. That's shaping up to be pretty interesting. Stay posted for more info.

P.S. Thanks to the guys who responded to my little honeybunch, Shakira. She is something special. I don't look forward to those teenage years though. We'll have to beat the boys off with a stick!

Blog #2

2005-04-11T19:09:00.000-04:00

I've spent most of today and part of last night setting up a new blog. It's a literary blogzine called "New Word." I had other names I wanted to use, but they were taken. This one works for me though. (For the record: It really annoys me when people give their blog one name and the URL another.)

As much as I enjoy working on this blog, I needed something more genre-specific to get into. I've thought about doing a literary magazine for a long time, but never did. Truth be told, I didn't think I was literary enough back then, even though I was an English major. I'm still not, but I'm interested enough to learn as I go. The expense of publishing one didn't help either.

Once I discovered blogging, I thought immediately of doing a literary-based blog, and decided to start working on ideas for content. It's been a lot of fun for me so far, and I know it'll be a wonderful learning experience.

Is That A Face?!

2005-04-10T17:55:00.000-04:00

This is my baby goddaughter, Shakira, at 21 months; it was taken this past Christmas. I have more that I'll be posting from time to time. This just happens to be the one I carry around in my wallet to show everyone.

(What kind of godmother would I be
if I didn't immortalize her in my blog?)

Just Another Day

2005-04-08T20:06:00.000-04:00

(This is the reconstruction. Not too bad if I say so myself.)

I almost didn't think I'd be able to post anything today. I've been out getting my hair done, and picking up my 2 year old goddaughter, Shakira, from daycare, and I'm kind of tired. (It's days like this I wish I drove.)

The hair thing is always draining, just because it takes so long (4 hrs. + 2-1/2 hrs. travel time = 6 hrs. total), but it was a pleasant experience. I hadn't had anyone do my hair since I first locked it over 6 years ago, but I'm tired of doing it myself, and was ready for a change. So when my sister offered to treat me, I didn't say no.

Picking up the baby was another story. I only did it because her mother asked me to, but the kid gave me such a hard time. All the kicking and screaming; we could hardly get her in the stroller. (Did I say she was 2?) The daycare is only a block and a half away, but it seemed more like 10 it took so long. It was a little embarrassing. The way she was crying and trying to wriggle herself out of the stroller, I didn't want anyone to think I was hurting her or something.

Once we did get home, she eventually calmed down, and her mother came home soon thereafter. All's well that ends well.

Not Happy

2005-04-08T18:49:00.000-04:00

I just wrote something to post and it got deleted when I tried to publish it in preview mode. BAD IDEA! Now I have to try and reconstruct the whole thing. Just for the record, I'm PISSED!

Linking Drama

2005-04-07T13:04:00.000-04:00

I just added links to some favorite CDs. I'll be adding book and movie links as well. I think it took me an hour to figure out how to do everything. Right now I have text links to Amazon, where the albums can be purchased directly. I'll be adding photos of the albums as well, just to keep things interesting. If I'm able to, I'll try to link the photos back to Amazon to keep things consistent.

Thurs.Night Crew

2005-04-07T11:13:00.000-04:00

Other than the photo of myself, I haven't put any other images up. I've got to do something about that. I've got tons of God's Love pictures, but I won't put up that many. Only when relevant to the story.

Here's a photo taken of all of us in the kitchen at God's Love last year. I don't know who actually took it, but it was with Lars' camera. This was taken the day before they started renovating the kitchen. We had to move out of SoHo and go to Long Island City for the summer. All I can say is, we survived.

Blogging: The New Crack?

2005-04-06T22:49:00.000-04:00

As much fun as I'm having with this blogging thing, I am getting a little junked out on it. It's like cybercrack or something. I've hardly left my computer in over a week! I have learned a lot, but I think I need to lay off some of the research for all the other blogs I want to do and just have fun with the blog I have now—this one!

Virgin Love

2005-04-06T16:29:00.000-04:00

Here it is. My first published poem, in my first published blog.

JUST WRITE

I want to write about life—
Life in general, but mine in particular.

I want to write poems and songs and books and movies
Stupid and sweet, profound and profane.

I want to write important things and trivial shit
About what color to paint my room—or my hair.

I want to write about world peace
And how to be at peace in a world
Where there’s no justice or peace.

I want to write something everyone wants to read
But won’t be able to because they won’t know it exists.

I want to write a memoir chronicling a life
Well-lived, well loved, and well sexed.

I want to write about all the stuff I did
And the stuff I didn’t do but always wanted to do.

I want to write a bunch of nonsensical stuff
That makes all the sense in the world.

I want to write about yesterday, today, and the hereafter
When it’s supposed to be over but really isn’t.

I want to write about what I believe in,
Even if it’s absolutely nothing.

I want to write about my hopes and dreams and desires,
Even if they’re nothing more than fantasy.

I want to write more
And could say a lot less,
So let me put the pen down and just write.

© 2004 Melanie Morgan