Just Having Fun

Still looking around at blogs. I've actually stopped to read some in their entirety. Real interesting stuff. I'm amazed at just how open people can be on these things. I've never really been an open person (maybe it's the Scorpio in me); very much a loner, even around others. Was real shy as a kid. I'm much better now though (maybe I've just learned how to disguise it better).

I've always wanted to find an outlet to express myself, but nothing ever stuck. Very frustrating. I've been involved in the arts and media arts for years, but it's never really been personal. I've always thought of it more in terms of earning a living or at least making some kind of money (which has yet to really happen, sad to say), or just to help someone else realize their dream. (A good way to hide, perhaps?) Part of the problem is that I overthink everything. I take myself way too seriously, and get freaked out at the possibility of letting go and just doing something for the hell of it—just for fun; I always have to have a reason.

So far, the blogging thing works for me. I'm writing, which is something I've always run away from even though I'm fairly good at it. I've always seen myself more as a visual person. Maybe I'm delusional about this. Maybe writing is where I should be. (See, thinking too much again.)

I was really impressed by one of the blogs I read; I just finished reading it before writing this post. It was by a woman who commented on my New Word blog. (see Poetic Acceptance in the sidebar.) She's really into poetry, which is something I'm new at. She gave me some good advice about checking out online writing forums and not getting scammed by certain "vanity press" sites (whatever those are).

Her blog gave me some ideas about the direction I'd like to take with mine. I think it's already influenced me somehow with the way I'm writing. That's a good thing. I admit that since I started this blog, I've been a little skittish about putting too much of myself on here/out there. I continually remind myself that this process is about letting go of the fear and jumping into something new. It's about me doing whatever I want to do, with no explanations or apologies, and learning as I go—and having fun with it. So that's what I'm going to do.