Relationships…What Do I Know?

I got an interesting call today from my friend Ja-Man, whom I recently interviewed for my videoblog, NYCreative (see post). He's starting research on a book he's writing about relationships between black men and women, and is interviewing 100 people asking them what they believe makes for a good relationship. I think I'm #36.

I was hesitant at first because, as I told him, I haven't had one work yet, so I'd hardly be an authority, but he assured me that it didn't matter. He just wanted some insight from whatever perspective it came from. I really didn't think I had much to contribute, but to my surprise, I had a lot more to say than I thought. (I guess I must have learned something in 40 years on this planet.) I focused primarily on what I'd like to experience, and what I believe a relationship should be, as opposed to what I've actually experienced, coming not so much from an African American perspective, but from a more universal context.

Strangely enough, I have been thinking a lot about relationships these days, and whether I'd want to be in one of any kind, so it was interesting to articulate those thoughts out loud to another person.

I salute and applaud anyone who'd actually pursue such a thing, much less have any kind of success in it. (To be perfectly honest, I've always been a bit freaked out by the idea.) Maybe being proactive is the right approach. Just put yourself out there in the universe and make it happen. God knows, what I've been doing (or should I say, "not doing") up to now hasn't been cutting it.

I don't know how realistic it is to desire mutual respect, honesty, and unconditional love these days, but they're at the tippy top of my list.