Enough Is Enough

After a very long time of knowing better, and making many meager attempts, I've decided to get myself on a health kick—for real this time. In the past, whenever I'd start a new exercise program I'd automatically start eating better. Unfortunately, it's never lasted more than three or four months at a time.

Although I was never what you'd call "small" (at least since before puberty), weight was never my issue when I started working out. I just wanted to get fit. I figured, if I did the right things, the weight would just fall off. The last thing I ever wanted to do was get caught up in that dieting trap (which always seemed like a boat going nowhere), so I never went that route. One thing I did was give up red meat quite a while back, and I've stuck to that. For religious reasons, I never did do the pork or shellfish thing. I still don't eat pork, but since I'm no longer practicing my religion, I do indulge in a little seafood from time to time, especially shrimp, which I love.

Now I'm about to give up just about everything I love, especially sweets, and take on a macrobiotic diet. It may seem extreme, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I'm at the end of my rope. I've been dealing with a specific health issue for a while now, and I refuse to be cut on. Doctors are so quick to want to whip out the knife, and are so convinced that it's the only possible solution to your problems (next to drugs, of course), that they have you believing it as well. It's never about "if" surgery is the answer, only "which kind" of surgery. There are about three or four procedures they can do for my situation, with varying degrees of extremity. Outside of a coin toss, or drawing straws, I guess it would all boil down to which one would leave the smallest scar.

It's not that I'm against doctors, but there are so many things that people can do to heal themselves, but are unwilling to try because they either want a quick fix, are unwilling to make the necessary sacrifices, or just don't know better. Well, as I've heard all my life, when you know better you do better. The thing is, that kind of "knowledge" is not on an intellectual level. There are too many smart people out there doing incredibly stupid things to themselves. It's on a much deeper emotional and spiritual level. They say that the soul knows, and when the soul's had enough, then that's when the change comes. I guess now my soul's had enough. Although my condition isn't life threatening, the truth is, I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My sister, who's going through the same thing as I am, made her decision to change things, and has been on this eating plan for about four months. I haven't seen her in a while, but she says she feels a lot better and has dropped four dress sizes. That's enough for me. I was making plans for surgery, but after that testimony, I'll be putting it off indefinitely.

I've only started changing my eating habits for about a week now, and it hasn't been easy, but I believe letting go of my sweet tooth will be well worth it to be rid of this problem for good.

Just Taking A Break

It's about 12:30AM and I'm up cleaning, of all things. This is so out of the usual for me, but I'm leaving town tomorrow, and I hate for things to be a mess when I get back. I'll only be gone a couple days, but it makes no difference. I could have started earlier, but I needed my brainpower for the computer. I did some good work on the new website, so I have no regrets.

Cleaning requires little thinking, so now's as good a time as any. It's actually given me some needed energy for packing. The packing won't take long, as this is a typical business trip and the wardrobe is basically the same every time. I have two "powersuits" that I wear for this gig, and I'll only need one, so it's a no-brainer. I have no complaints; just glad I'll be working.

I also get to travel outside the tri-state area, which is a welcomed change. We're going to Roswell, GA, so I actually get to fly. That'll be different. I usually have to wake up at ungodly hours of the morning to report to work at 7:30AM, as I have a fairy long commute on public transportion. It's particularly rough because my normal hours are so different; I don't usually start stirring before 9, and don't go to sleep till after midnight, so my circadian rhythm is completely shot to hell with this gig. It usually takes about one whole day to recover.

I don't work this gig very often anymore. It's freelance, and they call when they need me. They've been needing me less and less these days, which sucks, but at least they still call sometimes. I think I'm one of the only camera people they have left.

The company I work for teaches presentations skills to corporate types at big companies, and I videotape the students in action. It's pretty basic stuff. Once I get setup in the mornings, I only shoot at 10 to 20 minute intervals 3-4 times a day. A pretty sweet gig. The worst part of the job is getting there. Reporting to work so early is pretty rough, so I have to struggle to stay awake in between tapings. I usually bring something to read, which is good. Or I'll play a game on my PDA or cell phone. Sometimes I actually listen to the lectures, and every once in a while they'll ask me to sit in if they're short a student. This I can do without, but it beats a real job.

Some of the locations are pretty swank, so that's definitely a perk. The food they throw out in one day could feed a family for a week. It's amazing the kind of money these corporations have to throw around. But again, I'm not complaining. Just glad for the work.

Now let me go pack!

Radio Online…So Sublime

I was talking music last week with my friend Naama, who's a bartender/waitress at Cody's, the spot we go to after our shift at God's Love We Deliver on Thursday nights. As she was trying to find something interesting to play on their satellite TV radio, we got onto the subject of internet radio. Since she has no TV at home, she really gets into the online thing, and was pretty acquainted with internet radio. Come to find, we have similar tastes in music, though hers is a bit more eclectic.

I originally discovered internet radio maybe about three years ago through my iTunes when I first got DSL. I absolutely loved that there were no commercials. I also loved that I was able to hear something different than what was on regular radio (aka "terrestrial" radio). The beauty of internet radio is that you almost never hear the same song twice, and you get music of all genres from all over the world. The continuous rotation of the same songs can get—to say the least—redundant, with even songs you like getting on your nerves after a while.

I've only been back online for about six months or so after a year-and-a-half hiatus, so I'm still reacquainting myself with everything. I've been listening to internet radio again for about a week, and it's been such a joy I can't believe it. No commercials! None whatsoever!! I almost forgot how great that is. The only interruptions are station ID's and music promos, which I could live without, but they're no comparison to 10 minutes worth of ads every 5 minutes.

I don't know if I'll ever have a reason to go back to regular radio.

One Day At A Time

I wasn't sure I was going to post today. I missed the midnight deadline, so it's no longer Monday, but we're just going to act like it is, OK?

I've been pretty hit-and-miss with posting these past few days. I tried to keep up with some blog reading, but I missed New Word Wednesday, and my last post here was Saturday. Since I only post once a week on New Word, missing a day can look pretty neglectful. Right now, I'm afraid to say, it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Working on my new enterprise and website will leave less time for blogging, but I will do my best to maintain. It's become such an important part of my being these days, I can't imagine being without it for too long. Although time management has never been a strong suit, I'll just have to learn to fit it in.

One problem I'm having is that I work and blog from the same computer, and it's kind of hard to shift gears. After a while I've just had enough of the computer and need a change of scene. (Too much of a good thing, and all that.) I'll be OK once this period of adjustment is past. In the meantime, it's starting to take shape a little at a time. I'm having fun with it, so it's all good.

Alone Again…Naturally

I've been thinking a lot about relationships these days, particularly friendships. I tend to spend a lot of time by myself, which I enjoy, since I'm a natural loner, but I do feel the need to be with others at times. It's not that I'm completely alone; there are others in the house, it's just that I don't connect with anyone too intimately (but then I never really have).

I've got my weekly thing at God's Love which is my primary social outlet, and that's fine, but sometimes I need more than that. Although I can be quite the social creature, I can still feel alone sometimes, even among the folk there, which can be excruciating. Being alone in a crowd feels a lot worse than just being by myself.

A lot of my disconnect comes from not working outside my house too often, and not having much of an income (oh, the shame of it all). Staying home is definitely cheaper, but can be quite stifling. It also leaves a lot to be desired in terms of conversation. What do you talk about if all you do is stare into a computer screen all day and read trade publications? If it wasn't for TV and newspapers (and of course the internet) I wouldn't know what the hell was going on out there! (Even with all that I can be a day late with the news.)

Right now, I'm pretty thankful for the blog thing. I can be home and with people at the same time, but even the web has it's limits. I admit that I haven't thrown myself into it totally. I've never participated in online chats or did any dating (I don't date in real life either, so no difference there). I only signed onto Friendster at someone else's behest (see my previous post). I guess life, and the World Wide Web, is what you make it.

This isn't the first time I've mentioned by inability to open up, it's just been on my mind again. Just bringing all this up again is a bit uncomfortable, but I'm trying. I admire people who can be vulnerable and revealing online. I guess this is my meager attempt at it. It's definitely cheaper than therapy.

They say that to have friends you've got to be one. It's not that I have no friends, I'm just a bit neglectful with calling and reaching out sometimes. I'm working on it, but I wish it came more naturally to me. It does feel like a lot of work sometimes. Maybe I just shouldn't think about it so much.

The New Melmorg

I'm feeling kind of good right now because I've been working on my new website for my new venture, Melmorg Media. I've finally gotten my hands dirty in Adobe GoLive and am having a lot of fun with it. I'm also feeling pretty good about my new little business, although I didn't think I was ready to jump back into the entrepreneurial pool just yet.

I've attempted a couple of businesses in the past that didn't get too far off the ground, but I have a good feeling about this one. This time I'm taking a much different emotional approach, which I believe will help me in my business approach. There's a saying about not putting the cart before the horse, and that's exactly how I did things in the past. It's like buying all the stuff to put in a house that hasn't been built yet. This ass-backwards way has caused nothing but headaches and heartaches, but I've simply refused to give in and work for the "man."

This time, I'm not creating any unrealistic expectations, making any quick decisions, and most of all, I'm working on a much more faith-based level. It's always been so easy to doubt myself and my abilities, believing that I needed others to validate me. Now I can look back and see everything I've learned and know that I'm ready to go for myself, however long it takes, and know that the Creator is willing and able to provide whatever, and whomever, I need to be successful (i.e. "paid").

Live8 Update

I watched parts of the Live8 concert on Saturday, and have been wanting to say something about it. I just had to learn more first, so I went online and did a little research. I'm not the most political sort, so I wasn't at all familiar with this whole G8 thing.

From the Live8 site, I ended up on the site of the ONE campaign that's tied in with it. I'd been seeing those black-and-white ads with all the celebrities and was curious as to what it was all about. The more I read, the more sense it made and the more I got into it. The site even had a speech by Nelson Mandela that I watched, and was moved by (and what ultimately made me sign on).

The premise is pretty simple. The organizers of Live8 and the ONE organization want to impress upon the world leaders meeting at the G8 Summit in Scotland on July 6 to do something about the overwhelming situation in Africa where people, especially children, are dying by the thousands from starvation and AIDS on a daily basis.

On the website, they're asking people to sign a petition asking G8 leaders to cancel debts owed to African countries, to increase aid, and to change trade laws giving poor nations a better chance to prosper and develop on their own.

It so amazing to me how they've used technology, especially the internet, to get their message out. The results have been staggering. What's even cooler is that they have blogs set up just for people to voice their opinions. I've checked out the ONE blog and it's pretty awesome. I've already blogrolled it. I'm also going to add myself to their blogroll. I just wanted to get this post up first. It's a great way to keep up with what's happening and get different points of view. Click to read BBC article.

Whether or not all this makes an impact on the G8 leaders, it's definitely brought about an awareness of the situation that exists in Africa today, especially to the youth. It just boggles the mind that things could still exist like this in 2005. It doesn't speak well for any of us when we bitch and moan about such little things in our lives, when all these people want to do is just live. It's a tall order, but I pray the next generation will meet the ultimate goal to "make poverty history."

Although it can be hard to wrap our minds around, we've got to start believing that the power of one CAN make a difference. I'm just glad I'm on board (can't wait to get my wristbands).

Forever, For Always, For Luther

I had planned to do a Part 2 of the music list I posted a few days ago because there was just too many artists that I left out, but after the passing of Luther Vandross on Friday it only made sense to do it as a tribute to him.

As it's impossible to narrow this list down to 5 songs, I've chosen to list 10 of my favorites (and even that's not enough). They're not listed in any particular order of importance, though the titles in the first half of the list all have the word "love" in them. What else would you expect from love's greatest musical spokesman? (Album titles are in parentheses along with the year of release.)

1- Forever, For Always, For Love (Forever, For Always, For Love; 1982)
This amazing ballad came off of Luther's second album. I was going through my collection and can't believe I don't have this! It's one of his greatest albums—a true classic.

2- Any Love (Any Love; 1988)
Everyone needs love, no doubt—any love
Everybody feels alone without any love

Who can't relate to that?

3- Night I Fell In Love (The Night I Fell In Love; 1985)
One of Luther's best uptempo songs. This one totally grooves.

4- For You To Love (Any Love; 1988)
With Marcus Miller as co-writer and bass player, the groove couldn't be tighter. And who else but Luther can make a booty call sound so romantic!

5- Power Of Love/Love Power (Power Of Love; 1991)
When I say goodbye it is never for long
'Cause I know our love still lives on
And it'll be again exactly like it was
'Cause I believe in the power of love

What could be a better epitaph for someone that reminded us of love's power on every song he sang?

6- Superstar/Until You Come Back To Me (Busy Body; 1983)
When I first heard this song, I had never heard the Carpenters' version. Once I did, I couldn't believe it was the same song. The fact is, it no longer was the same song. Once Luther got a hold of a song it totally became his. I once heard him say that he has to "Lutherize" any song he covers. Once you've heard Luther's version, you forget any other version existed. An absolute masterpiece!

7a- A House Is Not A Home (Never Too Much; 1981)
7b- Anyone Who Had A Heart (Give Me The Reason; 1986)
These two songs attest to Luther's unique ability to totally transform a song and make it his own. Both of these were Burt Bacharach compositions recorded by Dionne Warwick back in the 1970s. As much as I love Dionne's versions, they just don't do it for me like Luther's.

8- Creepin' (The Night I Fell In Love; 1985)
I kind of cheated with the last two with the a- & b- thing, but I had to squeeze this in. This is one of my all time favorite Luther covers. As good as the original Stevie Wonder version was—and I loved that—Luther once again completely recreated this song for himself. And Cissy Houston totally does her thing in the background.

9- Never Too Much (Never Too Much; 1981)
This is the first solo hit Luther had back in 1981. It sounds just as good today as it did back then. You'll definitely run out of breath trying to sing along with those verses.

10- Here And Now (Love Is On The Way; 1998)
One of the biggest wedding songs of the 20th Century. Need I say more?

Bonus Track: Dance With My Father (Dance With My Father; 2003)
This is of particular importance to me because today (July 3) is my father's birthday. I always remember it, but since he's been gone so long (almost 30 years), it's easy to let it slip by without acknowledging it in some significant way. Thinking about this song for this post made me feel like doing something more public.

Just A Note: Luther Vandross created some of the best background vocal arrangements for his songs. This isn't surprising since he was one of the best background vocalists in the business back in the day. As such, he could do no less than get the best singers for himself—Lisa Fisher, Cissy Houston, Fonzi Thornton, Kevin Owens, Cindy Mizelle, and Tawatha Agee, among others. Check out I Want The Night To Stay on the Power Of Love CD. (Just thought I'd sneak that one in.)

Luther Vandross was undisputedly the greatest R&B vocalist of his generation. I'm only sorry I never got to see him perform live. My sister's seen him, and she says his show was nothing short of perfection. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

RIP Luther

This is a very sad day and my heart weighs very heavy right now. The great Luther Vandross has passed away. Thankfully, the world will have all the great music he left behind, though we'll regret not hearing anything new.

Even though I didn't mention him in my previous post, he'll "always and forever" be one of my all time music favorites.